Karl Pilkington

[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#jellyfish #ocean #water #environment

The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#tattoos #marriage

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#humor #stupidity #funny

I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#humor

Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#humor

I always have a problem liking things I'm told I should like. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#life #liking #relatable #telling #life

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#biology #humour #scientific-research #biology

A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#asia #food #foreign #food

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#common-sense #decor #decorating #humour #museums

I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things. ↗

— Karl Pilkington

#ageing #death #discrimination #humour #life