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Johnny Carson

Read through the most famous quotes from Johnny Carson




In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.


— Johnny Carson


#entertainment #funny #hollywood #humor #insanity

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.


— Johnny Carson


#leftover #life #marriage #spam #spice

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.


— Johnny Carson


#barn #behind #i #kid #naive

If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.


— Johnny Carson


#dead #elvis #fair #impersonators #life

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.


— Johnny Carson


#die #live #longer #lot #married

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.


— Johnny Carson


#dentist #drill #hand #happiness #having

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are your ready?"


— Johnny Carson


#being #important #important question #make #most

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.


— Johnny Carson


#filthy #little #never #use #will

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.


— Johnny Carson


#democracy #grow #grow up #means #president

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.


— Johnny Carson


#christmas #early #lose #mail #office






About Johnny Carson

Johnny Carson Quotes




Did you know about Johnny Carson?

If human beings had little red lights in the middle of their foreheads Carson would be the greatest conversationalist on Earth. ) These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnac's true prescient abilities. The movies always had unlikely casts and even less likely titles: "Slim Pickens Patti Page Duke Wayne and Charlton Heston in another classic Western: 'Kiss My Saddle Horn'!" Carson originally played the fast-talking huckster in his own voice (as Honest Bernie Schlock or Ralph Willie) and finally settled on a nasal high-pitched smarmy drone reminiscent of Jackie Gleason's "Reginald Van Gleason III" character.

John William "Johnny" Carson (October 23 1925 – January 23 2005) was an American television host and comedian known for thirty years as host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962–1992). Carson received six Emmy Awards the Governor's Award and a 1985 Peabody Award.

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