Jimmy Carr

A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#implausible #jokes #sound #surprising #true

I didn't plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it's juvenile, but that's me. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#comedian #find #funny #happen #i

Like most of the world's population I'm into coffee, but in a properly big and important way. My perfect weekend would start with a pint of coffee. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#coffee #i #important #important way #into

After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#always #back #cancel #gig #granny

As soon as I did my first five minutes of stand-up I knew that I would rather be a failure at comedy than a success in marketing. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#did #failure #first #five #i

Even if you're doing the national insurance awards, there's still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#best #doing #even #excitement #going

I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you - I am trying to make you laugh. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#here #i #i am #laugh #make

I don't see myself as offending people. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#myself #offending #people #see

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#country #gag #get #get a real #go

I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one. ↗

— Jimmy Carr

#before #being #being in love #i #idea