Jeffrey Bernard

When I was a boy, I naively thought that this thing called happiness would be something I would wake up to find every day once I could smoke, drink and fornicate. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#happiness #humor #sex #smoking #humor

It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#boring #day #dropping #drunk #dylan

Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#although #because #couple #despised #had

But you've got to have money for comfort, which obviously doesn't matter as much when you're young, but even so. I always like to bloody eat well and be warm. Have a drink when I want it. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#bloody #comfort #drink #eat #even

I don't remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I've come across now. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#being #come #dislike #ever #full

I enjoy doing nothing. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#enjoy #i #nothing

I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#autobiography #be grateful #been #between #commissioned

One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#conservative #emphasise #getting #getting older #goes

One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#him #horse #runaway #stop #way

The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose. ↗

— Jeffrey Bernard

#because #cricket #go #gone #good