Jeff Foxworthy

My grandma's the most careful, safe driver in the world. You put her in a rental car, and she's doing doughnuts in the K-Mart parking lot! ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#careful #doing #driver #grandma #her

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#comedian #me #people #stuff #tell

Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#hip #la #million #new #new york

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#ever #experiences #family #first #first time

If men have a smell it's usually an accident. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#men #smell #usually

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#home #just #might #own #redneck

It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#mad #same #sensation #time #weird

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#big #channel #clock #discovery #father-in-law

The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#any #mad #made #make #me

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#being #bernard #born #cat #coming