Jeff Foxworthy

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#drinking #humor #life #design

I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#funny

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#argument #ever #everybody #family #first

Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#doing #find #going #hate #life

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#great #great thing #hear #phone #really

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#designated driver #desirable #doing #driver #drop

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#diaper #getting #going #got #grandmother

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#goal #lifetime #may #own #redneck

You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#may #more #pickup #redneck #spent

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck. ↗

— Jeff Foxworthy

#because #brings #cop #detective #home