Jay Leno

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy - he's one of their own. ↗

— Jay Leno

#action #against #coming #congress #guy

My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic? ↗

— Jay Leno

#important #me #paper #plastic #something

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments. ↗

— Jay Leno

#also #behind #doctors #give #lethal

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#lot #mind #money #people #working

The best way to ruin a comedy is to throw a lot of money at it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#best way #comedy #lot #money #ruin

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, they're all lining up. ↗

— Jay Leno

#attack #bush #bush administration #iraq #lining

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. ↗

— Jay Leno

#crime #day #getting #had #hands

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. ↗

— Jay Leno

#doctors #england #idiot #journal #medicine

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together. You know what that means? There's still hope for Ike and Tina Turner. ↗

— Jay Leno

#announced #back #divorce #getting #hope

You aren't famous until my mother has heard of you. ↗

— Jay Leno

#heard #mother #until #you