Jay Leno

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. ↗

— Jay Leno

#christmas #corruption #nativity #politics #religion

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it. ↗

— Jay Leno

#admired #allows #america #away #because

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. ↗

— Jay Leno

#given #iraqi #name #operation #pentagon

Politics is just show business for ugly people. ↗

— Jay Leno

#just #people #politics #show #show business

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. ↗

— Jay Leno

#beverly #beverly hills #call #dad #day

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. ↗

— Jay Leno

#heard #mother #until #you

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? ↗

— Jay Leno

#come #headline #here #how #like

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. ↗

— Jay Leno

#boulevard #destroy #god #hollywood #owes

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza! ↗

— Jay Leno

#average #average people #ever #fat #first

I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder. ↗

— Jay Leno

#best #good #harder #high #i