Janet Evanovich

I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk. --Stephanie Plum ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#exercise #humor #plum #stephanie-plum #humor

Honey, a man can't keep his gun in a cookie jar. It just isn't done. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#guns

There is no such thing as a good call at 7 AM. It's been my experience that all calls between the hours of 11 PM and 9 AM are disaster calls. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#night #phone #plum #sleep #stephanie

If I gave you a pity position it wouldn't be in my office. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#ranger #romance #humor

If she wasn't your grandmother I'd shoot her." Ranger ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#family

I had an alarm, I had nerve gas, I had a yogurt. What more could anyone want? ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#money

Then I had to decide if I needed to wear shoes that kicked ass or were good for ass kicking, on account of there's a difference you know. ~ Finger Lickin' Fifteen ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#humor #humor

Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#kindlehighlight

I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good. ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#mystery #thriller #comedy

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."- ↗

— Janet Evanovich

#romantic #money