James Patterson

He [Iggy] started reaching for things around the table, and his hand landed on Total. “You’re black.” “I prefer canine-American,” said Total. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor

I didn't know a van could go up on two wheels like that, for so long." -Nudge ↗

— James Patterson

#maxride #nudge #experience

Oh no! Don't drag us away from Antartica and take us to the playground of the rich and famous! Not that briar patch! -Max ↗

— James Patterson

#maximum #patterson #ride #rich

Besides my great fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica. ↗

— James Patterson

#sports

At that moment I had no mind to change, or not change, or throw against the nearest wall. ↗

— James Patterson

#mamimum #maximum-ride #mind #ride #change

Boy, you just can't kill people like you used to, ↗

— James Patterson

#school

Fang! Come Back!" I started pulling his hair. Shaking his head and shoulders. Hard. "Wake up! Snap out of it! You stupid jerk! I am going to kill you if you die on me! ↗

— James Patterson

#maximum-ride #stupidity

WARNING If you dare to read this story, you become part of the Experiment ↗

— James Patterson

#experience

They call me, The Sharkalator ↗

— James Patterson

#funny #gazzy #maximum-ride #name-calling #nicknames

So the first thing we're gonna do," I told him, "is push you off the roof. ↗

— James Patterson

#maxride #humor