Jackie Mason

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#choice #enough #jackie-mason #money #life

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#because #believe #come #conclusion #different

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#enough #i #last #life #me

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#healthy #like #longer #question #sickness

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one? ↗

— Jackie Mason

#did #even #ever #hear #kid

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#i #people #predict #respect #try

I can't pretend that I'm a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn't know what he's talking about. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#anybody #art #because #becomes #comedy

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#cheat #eighty #europe #married #married men

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#englishman #gets #run #truck

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life. ↗

— Jackie Mason

#industry #life #more #profitable #support