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    Henny Youngman

    Read through the most famous quotes from Henny Youngman




    How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #drive #guy #him #how #page

    My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #car #lifeguard #wash

    While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #golf #good #hit #i #playing

    She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #been #face #her #many #marks

    A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #bill #doctor #gave #him #his

    You have a nice personality, but not for a human being. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #human #human being #nice #personality #you

    The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #diary #horse #i #jockey #kept

    I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #bet #clubs #dead #guy #i

    Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #airport #back #got #i #just

    A Jewish woman had two chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well. ↗


    — Henny Youngman

    #chickens #get #get well #got #had






    About Henny Youngman

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    Did you know about Henny Youngman?

    Those are my rules. As his fame passed into legendary status he never considered himself aloof or above others and he never refused to perform a show in a small venue or unknown club. He was quoted in an interview with the Web-based magazine Eye: "I get on the plane.

    A typical stage performance by Youngman lasted only fifteen to twenty minutes but contained dozens of jokes delivered in rapid-fire fashion. His best known one-liner was "Take my wife—please. "
    In a time when many comedians told elaborate anecdotes Youngman's comedy routine consisted of telling simple one-liner jokes occasionally with interludes of violin playing.

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