George Carlin

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ↗

— George Carlin

#family #fun #hell #humor #death

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam. ↗

— George Carlin

#getting-older #religion #death

Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you. ↗

— George Carlin

#church #donation #george-carlin #money #money

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #life #humor

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple. ↗

— George Carlin

#life #school #humor

There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi. ↗

— George Carlin

#names #trends #dreams

I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker. ↗

— George Carlin

#stereotypes #humor

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything. ↗

— George Carlin

#children-s-literature #literature