George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #religion #humor

It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot. ↗

— George Carlin

#life #too-hip-for-the-room #humor

If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. ↗

— George Carlin

#kids #parenting #role-models #humor

How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies. ↗

— George Carlin

#god #humor #funny

It's never just a game when you're winning. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ↗

— George Carlin

#caterpillars #humor #injustice #work #humor

I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? ↗

— George Carlin

#marriage

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. ↗

— George Carlin

#george-carlin #intelligence #intelligence

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? ↗

— George Carlin

#freedom

You show me a lazy prick who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to piss, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor