Erma Bombeck

I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#copy #geographic #how #i #leaf

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#done #go #graduated #high #high school

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#like #look #miserable #more #nothing

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#exercised #followed #i #their #them

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#belongs #carousel #did #ever #first

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#cup #measured #measuring #mother #only

Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#brought #cereal #controversial #family #family planning

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#egyptians #forever #get #go #home

I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#i #old #paper #route #security

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#friend #old #priest #saw #she