Erma Bombeck

Every puppy should have a boy. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#dog-quotes #inspirational-quotes #inspirational

...the words of young Ted Kennedy, Jr., who lost his leg to cancer. "People are taught we should look perfect," he said. "I wondered who would ever go out with a kid with one leg. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#inspirational

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#dead #fruit #hairy #i #me

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#before #bit #could #end #everything

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#cart #like #shopping #steal #stealing

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#lasts #longer #marriages #most #some

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#literary #never #seriously #start #suicide

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#carrying #certain #courage #dignity #enough

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#any #buy #cosmetic #elixir #european

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#chest #directions #growing #hair #men