Erma Bombeck

Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can't see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#age

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #humor

Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#food

Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor

Families aren't easy to join. They're like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#family

You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#family

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#gift #giving #guilt #keeps

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#truth #humor

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby... ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#age

There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting the kids. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#marriage