Erma Bombeck

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#anyone #birth #car #given #lend

Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor

As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#librarians

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#spontaneity #surprise #humor

Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#housekeeping #humor #humor

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?! ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#diet #self-indulgence #diet

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#charm #decades #hanging #i #lost

Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#courage

I come from a home where gravy is a beverage. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#food

Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#motherhood