Ellen DeGeneres

Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#gay #lesbian #gay

Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #truth #funny

Things will get easier, people's minds will change, and you should be alive to see it. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#ellen-degeneres #hope #inspirational #life #change

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping? ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #indeed #wonder #funny

Haiku sounds like I'm Saying hi to someone named Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#haiku #funny

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never. And how dare you! I will take no further questions. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#funny #funny

Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#humor #humor

It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#other-people #inspirational

Above all things physical, it is more important to be beautiful on the inside - to have a big hear and an open mind and a spectacular spleen. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#inspirational #true-beauty #attitude

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling? Just something to think about. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#random #seriously-i-m-kidding #worth-reading #funny