Doug Larson

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ↗

— Doug Larson

#bounds #expectancy #good #green #grow

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. ↗

— Doug Larson

#add #boss #duties #impossible #means

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ↗

— Doug Larson

#being #called #consumption #dog #eaten

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. ↗

— Doug Larson

#full #happiness #looking #people #spectacular

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. ↗

— Doug Larson

#english #english language #flowers #language #made

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none. ↗

— Doug Larson

#none #opulence #paradise #telephone #three

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. ↗

— Doug Larson

#clear conscience #conscience #lot #memory #mistake

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. ↗

— Doug Larson

#elation #feel #real #standing #star

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware. ↗

— Doug Larson

#between #blissfully #happy #informed #medium

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. ↗

— Doug Larson

#cars #day #end #labor #labor day