Dennis Miller

President Bush gave his first-ever presidential radio address in both English and Spanish. Reaction was mixed, however, as people were trying to figure out which one was which. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#both #bush #english #figure #gave

Somebody can say they don't understand why somebody drifts. But I've always found people who drift interesting, 'cause it shows me the game's not stagnant in their own head. They're thinking. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#cause #drift #drifts #found #game

The American education system couldn't be more badly directed or poorly funded if the Secretary of Education were Ed Wood. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#badly #directed #ed #education #funded

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#average #board #charles #dart #day

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#french #going #iraq #only #tell

What is guilt? Guilt is the pledge drive constantly hammering in our heads that keeps us from fully enjoying the show. Guilt is the reason they put the articles in Playboy. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#constantly #drive #enjoying #fully #guilt

Why is electricity so expensive these days? Why does it cost so much for something I can make with a balloon and my hair? ↗

— Dennis Miller

#cost #days #does #electricity #expensive

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#bad #cart #eating #got #grocery

Two wrongs may not make a right, but a thousand wrongs make a writer. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#may #right #thousand #two #writer

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. ↗

— Dennis Miller

#born #excuse #first #first time #getting