David Sedaris

Use the word 'ya'll' and before you knew it, you'd find yourself in a haystack french-kissing an underage goat ↗

— David Sedaris

#i-repeat-this-quote-all-the-time #say-y-all-and-i-ll-actually-puke #love

Owl love you forever ↗

— David Sedaris

#funny #humer #love

There are things you forget naturally-computer passwords, your father's continuing relationship with life-and then there are things you can't forget that you wish you could. ↗

— David Sedaris

#family

My conscience is crosswired with my sweat glands, but there's a short in the system and I break out over things I didn't do, which only makes me look more suspect. ↗

— David Sedaris

#guilt #sweat #family

I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting. ↗

— David Sedaris

#book signings #half #half hours #hours #i

I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry. ↗

— David Sedaris

#because #cry #feel #glee #i

I love 'Glee.' ↗

— David Sedaris

#i #i love #love

I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. ↗

— David Sedaris

#i #like #reserve #right #whatever

I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives. ↗

— David Sedaris

#books #i #like #lives #nonfiction

I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. ↗

— David Sedaris

#i #iron #like #listening #same