David Sedaris

They're hungry for something they know nothing about, but we, we know all too well that the price of fame is the loss of privacy. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

He has a passport," my classmates would whisper. "Quick, let's run before he judges us! ↗

— David Sedaris

#judgement #travel #humor

You know you're young when someone asks you for money and you take it as a compliment. ↗

— David Sedaris

#family

The combination of ammonia and chloride can be lethal but I've discovered it can work miracles as long as you keep telling yourself, "I want to love, I want to live... ↗

— David Sedaris

#funny #humor #joke #funny

Faced with an exciting question, science tended to provide the dullest possible answer. ↗

— David Sedaris

#science #science

A bell, though -- that's fucked up. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #humor

Dad followed his I’m-So-Disappointed speech with a lecture on career opportunities. “You’re going to study literature and get a job doing what?” he said. “Literaturizing? ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor

In the Netherlands now, I imagine it's legal to marry your own children. Get them pregnant, and you can abort your unborn grandbabies in a free clinic that used to be a church. ↗

— David Sedaris

#europe #humor #imagination

Use the word 'ya'll' and before you knew it, you'd find yourself in a haystack french-kissing an underage goat ↗

— David Sedaris

#i-repeat-this-quote-all-the-time #say-y-all-and-i-ll-actually-puke #love

Each one of us is left to choose our own quality of life and take pleasure where we find it with the understanding that, like Mom used to say, sooner or later something's gonna get you. ↗

— David Sedaris

#pleasure #life