David Letterman

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode? ↗

— David Letterman

#anything #bombs #dropped #even #explode

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger. ↗

— David Letterman

#good #having #importance #next #pull

Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. ↗

— David Letterman

#doing #overdoing #worth

As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body. ↗

— David Letterman

#different #face #go #know #limbaugh

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand new baby daughter. It's all part of Woody's plan to grow his own wives. ↗

— David Letterman

#baby #brand #brand new #congratulations #daughter

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel. ↗

— David Letterman

#bad news #bomb #camel #drop #experts

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home. ↗

— David Letterman

#god #home #love #try

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno. ↗

— David Letterman

#body #builder #fact #first #governor

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red. ↗

— David Letterman

#face #had #i #idea #no idea

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments. ↗

— David Letterman

#gentlemen #great #i #into #jokes