David Letterman

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan? ↗

— David Letterman

#does #early #feel #just #like

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. ↗

— David Letterman

#act #cannot #dance #else #host

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it? ↗

— David Letterman

#always #cheney #day #dick cheney #doctor

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. ↗

— David Letterman

#cab #complete #engine #get #guy

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. ↗

— David Letterman

#birds #change #color #fall #favorite

If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover. ↗

— David Letterman

#i #identifiable #personality

There is no off position on the genius switch. ↗

— David Letterman

#off #position #switch

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. ↗

— David Letterman

#business #businesses #like #several #show

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious. ↗

— David Letterman

#i #just #make #trying #unconscious

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed. ↗

— David Letterman

#bed #daylight #fall #forget #forward