Conan O'Brien

I have an abacus at home. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#i

If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#juice #kind #lemons #life #make

In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#cleveland #fit #forward #however #legislation

In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#chances #changed #elections #five #had

It's a good thing I was born in this century, when superfluous television seems to be part of the economy. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#born #century #economy #good #good thing

John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#career #control #does #doing #even

Keep cool my babies. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#cool #keep

Michael Jackson was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It caused quite a controversy, because his nose isn't eligible for another fifteen years. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#because #caused #controversy #eligible #fame

Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#charlie #charlie sheen #confirming #dating #doctors

President Clinton signed a $10 million deal to write a book by 2003. Isn't that amazing? Yes, and get this, not only that, President Bush signed a $10 million deal to read a book by 2003. ↗

— Conan O'Brien

#book #bush #clinton #deal #get