Carl Hiaasen

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#life

Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor #humor

Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor #humor

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#stupidity #humor

...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me." "You don't know that." "Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor #humor

A quick puke, two rails of blow and she was solid. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor

But Erin let it slide. The child was only four years old; she had a whole lifetime to learn about sadness. Today was for Dalmatians, ice cream and new dolls. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor #mystery-novels #humor

In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#chomp #courage #courage

From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?" "First I need a virgin. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#nature

That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#wild #wildlife #death