Arthur Smith

I've noticed that my resolutions involve me not doing stuff that I wasn't going to do anyway so here's something more positive. I'm going to retrain as a Latin teacher in a provincial public school. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#doing #going #here #i #involve

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#gentleman #however #length #life #live

It is London fashion week, and once again I haven't been invited to any shows. This is upsetting given my well-known love of fashion, or, as I think of it, playing with the dressing-up box. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#any #been #box #fashion #given

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#appearance #because #compared #famous #gauge

It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#beyond #certain #certain age #decreed #jacket

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#gig #know #never #not worth it #since

Listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 is the most miserable thing any human being can do, but attending awards ceremonies isn't far behind. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#attending #awards #behind #being #ceremonies

My eyebrows could do with a trim. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#eyebrows #trim

My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#believes #bits #boring #constructed #few

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#cent #deserve #funny #funny stuff #jokes