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The last few months were really hard for me. I lost my job, my girlfriend dumped me and some of my friends turned their backs on me because they think I'm a total loser.
Some days ago I got totally wasted and emptied my whole stock of alcohol. As you may guess, I threw up. Not just once but several times. The entire apartment stank like hell.
The lady who rented the apartment to me sent me a written warning. She thought I had a party and several people puked.
I met a guy online and at this time i was new to the app discord. I was a dumb fuck and joined a server with no one i knew. The guy knew my age and still talked to me. He was 21 and i was still a minor. I had no one to reassure me or reach out to. My friend eventually asked about why i was always talking to him and I ended up telling her. She told me to block him but I have no way of saying no. I was roped into another situation with another adult male. He was about 23 or so and he made me super uncomfy but yet again I had no way to say no. I know I should have said no but I have a fear of upsetting people and displeasing people. It's a horrible trait to have but its a struggle. I was diagnosed with anxiety and had to use certain medicines for a while till they fucked me up. Even though I was being treated physically, I was still mentally ill. I had suicidal thoughts and had to go to therapy but that's not my main focus. Either way I still have no Idea how to say no to people. I will always and forever hate older men that I don't know. It's my fault though. Is it? People say it was their faults for taking advantage of me but are they when I can't even say no. It's too complicated. I've gotten somewhat better but I'm getting through now. I've had some time to recover. I cope with writing and music but idc. Fuck U endo and yukki.
even death will not tame my sister rose marys violence and evil and if you see for yourself how many times she makes the whole team fall down you see what a weak leader she is and how gutless and over sexed she is. nothing will tame the evil demonism of my violent sister and her violence towards men and others. and you will always come off worse for wear with my sister rose mary. just wait and see. better then you have come down due to her. so see it as a warning and run while you can.
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