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I just have never been a serious relationship and have always wanted to I really want someone to genuinely love me so I have romantic scenes playing in my head like all the time
I have this dream last night. It seems that I am in some kind of party, In that party, there is this guy.
I've been eyeing on this guy and that guy is unfortunately interested with my best friend. They are indeed in love with each other. And I was left there alone. A few guys ask me few questions, I thought at last someone is interested at me. But in the end they just approached me because they are interested with my best friend (which is with the guy I like).
I woke up at 2:00 in the morning. I had a hard time sleeping back, and I cried.... and cried myself to sleep.
I don't know that guy and I know it's not real, but the pain remains. I don't know why..
or maybe I know why .. It's really hard when someone you like, love someone who is so close to you.. in real life... it's my sister. I know .. I know.. blood is thicker than water.. but it's a real pain..
I sometimes cry... but no.. not because of them... but because.. I feel unlove. (my family loves me.. I mean you know, someone special.. a guy) I feel unattractive and all... Gosh I wish someone will love me now.. It's kinda shallow.. but it's basically what everyone wants.
I am depressed. I am the at the point of depressed where I can't bother to get out of bed and I would not at all mind if an asteroid killed us all off. Because then it would be over. I want it to be over. Don't get me wrong I am not suicidal. I was born into little, gained just a little more over my 22 years of life. I am overweight and haven't had a single girlfriend in 2 years of a single romantic advance or interest from the opposite sex ever since. I try so much to gey people to like me. Try so much to keep conversations alive and interesting but I dawns on me those people always choose to spend their time and love on other people. I don't know they may be amazing but God does it hurt soooo much. I am not ugly or unfit despite my slight chubbiness. I am quite good looking anf that is not my personal opinion I actually got accepted in that good looking people only dating site. Why am I so alone? why is no one interested in loving me or even getting to know me? Why am I so constantly alone?. Why do I have to cry myself to feeling better every other week?
I just have never been a serious relationship and have always wanted to I really want someone to genuinely love me so I have romantic scenes playing in my head like all the time
I have no friends, I haven't since 2012, I can't seem to find anyone around my age to hang around with (we've just moved house I'm 17, nearly 18)
I've asked for help with getting friends, but no one seems to help me.
I feel trapped in my own house, with the same people, all the time. I don't know what to do. I feel slightly depressed everyday.
I'm jealous of my own mum because she has people to talk to as I have no one.
I can't walk properly, so I can't exactly go out walking around to find friends...I get told things will get better, but I feel like every time they say that they're lying to my face because nothing ever gets better when they say that.
I don't know what to do, I feel unloved, friendless and hopeless, I'm afraid of what will happen to my mental state if I continue to feel lonely.
#lonely #helpless #unloved #friends #friendless #friend #love #hate #happiness
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