Unfaithfulness Confessions

I was in a long distance relationship with a girl on and off for the past 6 years or so. We sent nudes and all that shit, However she decided she was going to text my best friend (rip) and ask him if he wanted to see what i sent her. She was clearly obsessed with betraying me and lying to me constantly, so i had to spend my days stalking her online, she used to flirt with guys on stickam (rip stickam) behind my back and get high on cam all while telling me "i dont smoke anymore".

So one day i took a picture of my computer screen and what she was doing and sent it to her. She promised to straighten her shit out, long story short she didn't. after her constant betrayals i spammed her entire dox and nudes all over the internet and encouraged people to call the number. i left a bot on that repeated the message every 3 minutes. i was very hurt, and still am, she kept apologizing and wanting me back so of course i said yeah im sorry too. but a few months later i got sick of her shit AGAIN, so i blocked her number, her reaction was moving to kansas to turn into a drunk, while telling me all kinds of great lies, she got herself pregnant (for the second time, she had an abortion the first time). eventually on her birthday she called me crying like a bitch because nobody cared about her birthday and it was her first taste of the real world.

So for the next 2 years i tried to make things work with her even though she had somebody elses kid now. she didnt understand nor care how much it affected me. we had alot of arguments and instead of calling her a slut or a whore or whatever like i normally would i just started dishing out the truth on her and told her "you arent going to find somebody who wants a 22-23 year old single mother whos a pathological liar, that has fucked an excessive amount of people, is a complete bitch, has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, nobody is going to want you, and after all of that i am still talking to you." apparently she couldnt handle that.

she wanted to be FWB and that lasted all of 5 days. a few months ago she told me "its not going to work between us" so i replied "because im not good enough?" she says "No thats not it" "i want to live in a big house and have nice things and have more kids". I damn near died i just said "so basically im not good enough, sick contradictory statement". I told her i refuse to be friends with her under those circumstances if im going to be friendzoned and never given a legitimate chance at making a life with her.

I keep having dreams about her, i dont know what my problem is because i cant stop loving her, i wish i could, and i wish i could get over what she has done to me, i wish i could go more than 4 months without trying to talk to her. Hopefully this outlet will help me move on and i will find somebody who is actually worthy of my affection.

yes i know i didnt use proper punctuation and i dont care.

#betrayal   #lies   #unfaithfulness   #selfishness