Threat Confessions

When I was 14 I was raped by my boyfriend at the time. When I tried to break up with him he threatened to post the pictures of me from that night on every social media imaginable, so I stayed with him for a year he was allowed to be with other people but I couldn't unless it was another girl or one of his friends and both had to be under his consent and used for his pleasure during that year I was verbally and physically abused and raped I was also forced to send him more pictures of myself to add to his 'collection' after he dropped out of school I finally got the courage to break up with him and the next day the pictures were everywhere I was slut shamed everyday for the next 3 years of my highschool career and I know it is not my fault but I feel like it is. 3 years later and I still feel like I will never mean anything more than sex to anybody and I wish I could change that because my heart wants a loving relationship with another but my mind will never let me forget and always gets in the way. I want to marry a virgin so that I know he doesn't want me for sex but I feel like I'll only corrupt the poor boy because I'm just damaged goods . . .

#rape   #abuse   #lost   #boyfriend   #threat   #disgust