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I feel fucked up for really wanting to get a serious illness "just to see what it's like" and possibly treasure life more, when I won't have much time.
I apologise to those who never had a choice...
#apology #illness #test #life #treasuring
Telling people that "up to 50%" (I quote that because it's what I've heard, not what's accurate) of tests will come back with a false negative dissuades people from A) getting tests done because they think it'll end up being wrong anyway, and B) rips away the peace of mind people get from having their tests come back negative, and then they tell other people not to bother because it hurts and you won't get the right results anyway.
Yes, false negatives happen, and yes, there's a considerable rate of it happening (I'm seeing maybe up to 38%), but that shouldn't be used as a reason to *stop* people from getting tested. No one wants to go in and get a swab shoved up their nose if they think there's no point to it, and then you have people who get sick and are too scared to go get it checked out because they don't know if they'll get the right answer or not.
It's important to share accurate information, but it's also important not to use that information to scare people out of getting tested. At that point, you're just fear-mongering for the sake of preserving your personal opinions, not for what's right for the collective. Stop it.
I have been bending the truth into a circle a lot lately. Rather than just watching TV; ive been trying to get people to work together during the pandemic. I'm a fence setter neutral kind of person. When i do weigh in its always secretly on the side of good.
Statues. If its dedicated to your family or loved ones i get it; orherwise its really just ideolology.
We have terror in middle east blowing up ancient structures. In America we have our own culture terrors. They want to spray paint the WWII & Lincoln memorial. They want to destroy CSA statues. Its very weird. You must realize; the people who emgage in such things view themselves internally as inferior. By destroying something thats important to a lot of people; it makes them feel important. Kind if like the people that break the gate on your fence; scratch your car; crush your mail box. They feel they are not capable of earning something good; so they want to lash out at someone else.
So i have been messing with people on these issues; did it in the past too. In order to understand what its all about.
Middle east: to historians like my self we really need to preserve ancient sites & relics. They link us to the past. They give us a glimpse into the past.
To the people destroying them its against their faith; a way to hurt people they hate; etc.
America reminds me of Great Britain. The Civil War factory owners were mostly English. They controlled politics; papers; militia; cops in the north. They funded Lincoln.
In the south mostly Keltic plantation owners contolled the cotton northern owners wanted. They controlled the politicians & etc in south. They should have just gave up slaves; let civil unrest break out in the south; & kept their land. Instead they decided to succeed; form their own nation; & lose. They lost all their land & possessions.
But who did most of the fighting & dying? A diverse group actually. Let's just say English; Nordic; & Irish immigrants for north. Kelts; Native Americans; & Jews for south.
In Great Britain it was a similar deal. The English conquered; occupied; & controlled the Welsh; Scots; Irish; Picts; & India Indians.
The Union is like the English. The south is like the Scots & Welsh. The Native Americans are like the Picts. The African Americans are like the Irish in North Ireland.
The Scots got to vote on leaving Great Britain. It would be too hard; so they stayed. But they will never forget being conquered. The English history books paint the English much better; & the Kelts worse; than the Kelts would like. In America the north won; so the history books are similar. Most white southerners feel like they were conquered & occupied; but it would be nearly impossible to seperate at this point.
The picts are like Native Americans. Not many of them left; not much land or power; so just stuck going along for the ride.
The African Americans are like the Irish people stuck in North Ireland. They are not happy; they don't want to be there; but where else would they go.
So the Union & CSA both sinned; so no point into getting into that. In Great Britain England is still the strongest; richest; & has the most power. The northeast & west coast is still the same in America. They basically have most of the wealth; power; & influence to this day.
In the past expanding Europeans were good at turning Native American tribes against each other. Since the Civil War ended the north has been good at that too. They bought Liberia; but convinced most bkacks to stay in the south; & grow them cheap cotton on the land once owned by plantation owners (reperations). Hey; they had the right to stay. But as a part black man who sees most blacks are still not happy to be here; you have to scratch your head. They could have had their own nation. Ran it their own way. Been trading partners with America & Europe; instead they stayed here. Obvi had they not me & my kids wouldnt be as fast at sprinting; but it makes you scratch your head.
Well; by first trying to put freed slaves in charge; they created great division. By convincing them to stay here; they created animosity. On the one side are Kelts who have been conquered again. On the other are blacks who endured slavery. The wealth is in the north. The new factories built are owned by the north. The south now can't sell to fireign nations; & are forced by one sided northern laws to accept whatever $ they are given for things.
They grow the cotton; tobacco; etc. And raise the cattle for the north. The north uses the same burn & scourge Roman tactics that finally crippled the south to conquer the Plains Indians. They open those seized lands to heavy settlement & use it to grow their crops. They really learned during the Civil War that they couldnt raise any cash crops; enough staple foods; or enough meat ti feed themselves. So they use the south for that. A divided south was good for them.
Think of Isreal. Britain needed Middle East oil. They placed the surviving Jews from WWII there. The Muslims switched from attacking Brits to Jews. The Brits created conflict between middle east Jews & Muslims; & got their oil affordable. The north did the ssme with southern whites & blacks. Let them work hard to grow crops & raise animals. Keep the wealth in the north east. Am i wrong? Look at wealth; standard of living; schools; average income; & education in the northeast & compare it to the south today. Am i wrong?
Look at the northeast. The blacks are mostly poor & in inner city slums. Yet blacks in the south mostly vote for the Democrats which helps the northeast stay richer & more powerful to this day. The southern whites vote mostly for Republicans over religious reasons & other rights.
You would assume the southern blacks & whites would unite; & fight together to get their equal share of the nations wealth. But they don't. They keep getting played against each other. Oh well.
Now for the statues. I do not care. Christians aren't suppossed to worship idols. But you will note the north & northern owned media keeps pushing to have southern statues destroyed. Think on this; Washington; Jefferson; & Grant all owned slaves. They only took Jefferson off $. I think they will push to remove Washington eventually. But Grant will never be removed.
Both sides in the Civil War were guilty of wrongs; most who died on both sides had no slaves. Yet they are only going after CSA statues; not Union ones. I know people believe the north started the war over slavery; but let's look at in context. Let's say the English were pushing to destroy all statues dedicated to Scots; but not the English ones. Well; they are taking down the CSA ones; but not the Union ones. So many descendents of southern kelts are mad about it; feel they are still getting ran over.
As for me. I'm descended from Scot & English; slave & CSA non slave owning soldier; & Union doctor. I don't care.
Just put the southern statues in museums & on Civil War battle fields. You were conquered; move on. Its rocks & metal. Let it go. Then the rock heads can start fighting to get slave owner Washingtons stuff removed. Does it honestly change your life? Then why do you care. There was so many angry socislists arguing with angry people who loved a statue; that a college girl got ran over. Was her life worth keeping a statue? No.
Yes; the north should set the example. Put their Union statues in museums; then challenge the south to do the same. But we know they will not. Remember when Brits got mad over the movie "Patriot" w/Mel Gibson? I assure you; if the English could somehow destroy anything dedicated to the Irish in North Ireland they would; to mentally strenghten their hold over the region. But they also would not agree to destroy an equal number of English statues in North Ireland or England. Its a power thing.
The northeast is saying southern blacks; we used our power to help get southern white statues dedicated to their dead soldiers removed; now vote how we tell you please.
My view: just move on if your a southern white & care about those statues. I'm trying to remember taking my kids to see a statue. I did take them to pose with cute little kid statues; in front of Christian crosses; & thats about it. So that means it doesn't matter to me. I drove by a statue dedicated to someone my kids are descended from. Maybe i should have stopped; but i didnt care enough to.
#pandemic #caronavirus #riots #protests #statues #lee #grant
Even my own family is torn. When the pandemic started i started too. My IQ is higher than most. I'm also neutral on many things.
So i contacted politicians; news; etc. on many levels. I tried to offer thanks; encouragement; & advice. I tried to get them to all work together for our common good. I think a few listened. I also ticked off at least one reporter.
Theres a democrat who is running. I want him to win. So i tried to play mind games. Tried to get him to see why a majority will probably vote against him. He's the best choice. So if he had listened; compromised; spoke a lot on key issues to the majority & showed his support; while not talking much about where they disagree; i think he could have won. But he didnt listen to me. Probably thinks I'm a typical goof. So he will probably lose.
Now for my family. The riots. Did you watch the man choked to death? Hear him begging? Sure; he resisted some. They may have suspected drugs. Its a dangerous job. But they got him down & arrested. They had multi cops present. They could have easily helped him up; put him in the cop car. Sure; maybe they were waiting for an ambulance. But you can't keep a knee on a kneck that long. Sure: the crowd may have annoyed & distracted the cop. I don't know everything yet. But i know enough that i want that cop charged & convicted of something. I feel we must change our laws. Force the other cops to interfere if one cop gets out of line like that & enough are present to alter things. We can't have a human choked to death for spending a fake $20.
Well; my family is very diverse. My step dad is ex-special forces. Volunteer everything. Fire/EMT/cop; so he sides with cops. A niece dates only blacks & has sweet black son. They are not agreeing on things.
I tried to play peace maker. I pointed out that we need the peaceful protests to bring awareness & change laws. This made him mad. Should only have protests in that city. I said no; need it in more to force change.
But; i said must enforce they quit early & go home; so you can then concentrate on the nasty types that show up to rob; hurt; & kill. For those types we need a heavy hand. If local politicians & cops can't contain it; then roll in the Guard. We can't have shop owners beaten; security guards killed; & small business people wiped out. We must seek change; but in a civil manner. Otherwise; we become divided.
I pointed out to my step-dad that a black security guard killed a nude unarmed white 130 lb teen on a college campus in a southern state (South Alabama). It was also caught on video; yet the guard was not found guilty of anything.
Well. He defended the security guard without even knowing the case. Said i don't know all the facts. I said i studied the case. The guard should have been found guilty of something. Maybe a small charge. But something. How can we trust people with guns when a tiny person in the nude unarmed is shot dead for being high & acting nuts? If he were armed or had tried to kill someone, or grabbed the guards gun, then I'd change my mind. But he didnt.
But neither person list
ened. Step dad just defended the guard; assuming he's innocent. My step dad is a good man. But he assumes all cops are good because he is.
Meanwhile; my niece thinks all white men are racists. All cops are racists. She complains she had problems with cops when alone. She looks white. How is that racism? She thinks my step-dad is racist. He let's them live in his house for free. I know for a fact he risked his life to save a black woman. He's been shot for this country. Ive seen him speak out against racism. He just loves his fellow emergency responders. But she still sees him as racist.
Funny thing; during Rodney King riots we lived in gang part of big inner city. While getting groceries a group of black males approached us. They apparently were too young to remember. I held her in my arm & her sisters hand as the males surrounded us. One had a gun in waistband. Theg called us racist names & threatened to kill us in broad daylight. Got intense. Yet here she is defending the rioters; saying it takes the riots to change things. Now she's peaceful; & would never do that; but she defends any black misbehavior if its against whites; & calls my step dad racist; even tnough he houses them.
So i tried to be peace maker; but that didnt work.
Then there's the monuments. I'm Christian. Statues mean nothing to me; they are idols. Well; she wants all the Confederate ones removed; they are racist. Ha ha. I ask her why. She sayes they were slave owners. I point out that most CSA soldiers never owned a slave. That the Constitution allowed the south to legally succeed. That the north invaded. That Union troops raped & killed innocent women & children in one branch of our family. Of course most men down here fought. I said ending slavery was the only good outcome. I said you complain how the south is more poor than the north east; well thats because of northern laws that kept the south poor for many yrs. We are just now overcoming it.
So we got in a weird argument. He & I agree; either leave all the statues; or take them all down; including the Union ones. She wants the Union ones left up. I pointed out that Grant still owned slaves at the end of the war; but Lee freed his before the war started. I pointed out Washington owned slaves. Now she wants Grants & Washingtons statues removed; but Lees can be left.
He got mad because he feels no statue should be removed dedicated to soldiers. He also feels the north was justified in invading the south; because America is stronger because we stayed united. I said no doubt. So is Great Britain. But I'm sure the Scots; Welsh; & Irish saw it different when they were being invaded; raped; & killed in ths past. Just like southerers did. But it was way in the past; so who cares now.
I said remove all Union & CSA statues. Put them on battlefields; in museums; or cemetaries. Take them off other places. Then no one from north or south is offended. Nope: he wants them all left where they are; but believes the north was 100% correct. She wants Lees left up; but all slave owners including Grant; George Washington; & Jefferson destroyed (not moved). Both got mad at me.
So i just went back to watching my comedy. Let them fuss about it. But i do comment to people. Try to get each side to compromise. If that seems hopeless; i sometimes just try to annoy them. If your being hateful & help cause division; then i feel you should be mocked & messed with a little. Nothing major; just give you a tiny dose of the crap you shovel out.
Today I got my term test result in Literature - a C+. I'm an Asian and I was frightened, also because i'm going to do entrance tests to enroll in highschool in 2 months, which includes Literature - this is considered a major step in the lives of many people in my country. I got home thinking about how my mom's gonna react when she saw it and decided not to tell her. Anyways moving to when I was having online class IN Literature, I was switching from tabs to tabs on google and wasn't focusing, for some reason I decided to masturbate. I feel very guilty i don't know what's wrong with me, I failed a test, kept it from my mom knowing she's gonna hit the roof later, and masturbated during online class in the subject im supposed to be concentrating on. I guess my confession wasn't very juicy, but I just wanna get that out of my chest :((
#nsfw #onlineclass #tests #zoom
Last night, I had a very weird dream.
I was at my aunt's birthday party when I noticed that I urgently needed to go on the toilet but in the whole building I was not able to find a restroom. The problem was that I didn't need to pee but to empty my intestine.
Don't remember much unfortunately but when I woke up I ... already emptied my gut, next to my almost-boyfriend. We were hooking up but of cource he saw what I did and rushed off.
Oh gosh, this was the most embarrassing moment in my life!!!!
#dream #party #toilet #restroom #intestine #gut #embarrassing #confession
In 3 hours, I should get a gastroscopy. Do you know how this works?
You have to be totally sober and empty if you get one. So your stomach and your intestine have to be completely empty. To get them empty, you have to drink some really disgusting and ugly mixture of I don't wanna know.
I confess that I don't drink that because it's nasty. About half an hour ago I was at KFC's and ate a lot.
I wonder how the doctor will react when he notices that I'm not empty.
Hihihi.
#gastroscopy #stomach #intestine #kfc #doctor
I am about to do the citizenship test in Germany because my German girlfriend wants it so badly.
I told her that I studied and that I'll pass it but I am not sure. Haven't done anything for it.
Wish me luck!
I cheated on my last chemistry test. And I still got a C-... I am such a disappointment!
#sad #disappointed #cheat #test
I tried to get my niece & step dad to compromise. He defends the cops. She defends the rioters.
One issue i pointed out to her. I said we do need laws that force cops to stop other cops from using excessive force. But; i also pointed out the media just picked these two cases to focus on in order to help get a politician elected.
I said who were you voting for. She said the annoying one. I said why? She said cause when the one she loved was leader (who she still loves) his VP ran the economy. She complains about all the unemployment & massive inflation; & how she never got a raise for those for yrs. She's upset the pandemic has put so many in our family out of work. So my whole family; whose mostly mixed race, were all voting for the annoying politician because he fixed the economy The VP couldnt. I said who are yall voting for now? She admits most of them are now voting for the other.
I said there you go. This was a calculated strategy by the far left media. They are using minorities like us. I said they mean well. But where is Americas wealth still centered. She said the north east & west coast. Yes. I said where do most blacks live. She said the south & inner cities. I said you qualify for section 8; why would you rater live with your step grand dad you call a racist; than live there? She said the violence.
I said why is it so violent. She said a lot of the moms don't watch their kids & let them run the streets (she used to live there); & theres no dads. I said correct. The libs tell the residents they can't marry; & must keep having kids, to keep the apartment. Why want they let them marry & keep the apartment without having more kids? The politicians create most of the problems in section 8.
I said so isnt it possible politicians in the north east are using poor black voters to keep the wealth where they live? I said too many of us keep listening to them; but the inner cities & south remain poor.
I said the media is manipulating blacks to help One politician. The question is will we ve better off? He can't improve health care in states that just opt out. But he will cause unemployment to drag out. He will cause massive inflation. The other would have helped the economy recover. Yes; he sucks on health care. But neither can change what states do anyways.
Well; its done now. The media chose to burn down American cities; & send people to the morgue in order to influence who wins. We will all suffer economically some extra because of it. So let's hope we at least get laws that force cops to intervene when other cops use excessive force. I'd hate to think I'm fixing to endure 8 yrs of massive inflation; unrmployment; & wage stagnation because the media wants to help one guy win if nothing good comes out of it.
On the plus side ive stopped watching the news for virus updates; back to comedies for me. Lifes too short to let the media chew up my time. Yes; we need to change the laws. But have you noticed the media isnt covering the victims being beaten & killed by rioters? They say we all matter; but they chose which lives matter by which they choose to focus on. I haven't seen much talk about the old lady beaten; security guard killed; cops ran over.
How about before the media caused this. Remember the great grandma killed on the sidewalk? The media doesn't care about her. Don't hate me for telling the truth.
The pandemic brought us closer together. The media has chosen to rip us apart just to favor one politican over another.
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