Squirts Confessions

Dog chili crap & the dog whistle.
Roommates new girlfriend decided to mess with me. I’m nice. But never mess with the smartest person. I timed it. Fed their dogs a bunch of chili. They had loose stools last night in the young pieces bed. She took them in the bath. Poop on the new bath mat.
This morning when her highness arrived; she had no bath mats & poop in the shower. Plus it smelled horrible.
The other day she was upset a dog ate one of her shoes. Oh it was funny when they ate my shoes. How did her shoe get out. Just put a few dog treats on the shoe. Tie a chew toy to the laces. Let it go. Now she has one new LaBron. One who looks more like old LaBron. Chewed up & wore out. What a shame.
Oh yeah. They like to get loud & stay up late. New hoe likes to throw objects against my door to make her dogs thrash around out there. She knows it must annoy me. I wear earmuffs when I sleep. Barely notice. But I do wait till it all calms down. The place is quite. I blow a dog whistle. I hear young hoes room explode in noise. Dogs yapping & barking. Cats stirred up. Light comes on. Cussing. Door opens. Dogs run out. Chase cats. Cats hiss & knock stuff over. Broke glass. Leftovers in the floor. I fall back asleep. Sometimes I do it later at night or earlier in the morning.
Oh. Another fun game. They used to leave leftovers out at night. Then get up to snack. I now sneak out. Loosen the lid of covering. Smear on some cat treat they love. Carefully set a cat by the food.
It’s awesome when the cats start fighting. Knock a whole pan in the floor. I also love it when someone gets up & catches a cat eating out of the food. They won’t eat it now, but leave it for the others.
Mostly they now put the fresh leftovers in the fridge now. Then complain it’s cold & dried out. Too funny. If they ever stop eating my food and bouncing balls by my door I’ll stop.

#dog   #chili   #squirts   #whistle