Potato Confessions

When I was young, I was obsessed with potatos. I loved them so much that I actually wanted to be a potato. I even wanted to make my friends and families into potatos so that we could all live together as potatos. I refused to eat potatos at the dinner table, as to not betray my brethren. Something about their brownish skin and muscular build just drew me to them.

I used to paint myself brown and lie around in potatoes all day. I even tried to inject myself with blight so I could be more like a potato. Sometimes I fantasise about being a potato and walking around with a potato bat and hitting people with it and that would turn them into a potato as well.

I always wanted a job as a potato farmer but I don't have enough money to do so. Some nights I even put a bald cap on my wife's head and paint it brown like a potato. I think she talks to her friends about it they always look at me funny whenever they see me. Maybe it's because sometimes I put on my giant brown paper machè potato suit and waddle around like a potato

#potato