Overthinking Confessions

I have a serious relationship and I love my boyfriend but our sexual life is not that great. I have fears. I can’t step out of my comfort zone. He satisfies me bu I cant satisfy him. This is my second serious relationship and ı am not that experienced. I know that if you dont try things you cant learn but I just cant do it. We decided that we want to wait before having sex but other than that I cant do anything to satisfy him. He says it is okay for him if I dont want to do anything or if Im not ready but I feel like I am not enough and that ı am a bad gf. Its just I am scared and I overthing these kinds of things alot. I am scared of doing something wrong and leaving my comfort zone. I feel like I dont deserve him and that it is unfair to him because he deserves sexual satisfaction t oo. He gets really sad when we talk about it because he loves me and he tries to convince me that I am enough but I just cant get rid of this feeling.

#incecurity   #overthinking   #boyfriend   #satisfaction   #relationship  

I have the weirdest feelings about my cousin. He’s 22 almost 23 and i’m 24 about to be 25. He and I haven’t really spent much time together. growing up he lived in the city and I grew up on the coast and in the bay area. I only really know him in that I know he likes video games that I also like and he likes the same kind of tv content as I do. I also know he and I are basically at the same stage in our lives where we don’t want to depend on our parents anymore. We have plans to spend a week together this coming summer (2022) so we can celebrate him graduating. Over the past week we’ve also talked about how we want to start doing care packages and sending them to each other as a way of getting through life as adults. We didn’t have a lot of time alone to talk so I don’t know what he thinks of me but I know for sure that he cares about me because when I have a mental freak out he’s there for me until I’m calmed down. I would never make the first move but part of me hopes when I visit him next summer that he pushes me against a wall and just makes me his. I just want to know if my feelings are appropriate or if I should give up waiting for him to be my knight-in-shining-armour?

#confused   #isthistruelove   #amijustoverthinking   #iwannacarryhisbabies