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I'm trying to go back to Twitter and I open my old account and see a lot of straight shit on it
I wanna deck 2012 me in the face. Bitch, you're gay now. Now I'm deleted everything on it because I don't want to make a whole new account.
I started a new job fairly recently. It's an office job and I have a lot of new colleagues.
Someone started calling me Dennis on my first day there. My name is not Dennis and is not even lose to Dennis.
But I am really shy and anxious when it comes to social situations, so I did not correct them when they started calling me Dennis.
It's been 3 weeks now and most of them started calling me that.
Well, I guess I am a Dennis now.
#job #new #wrong #name #correct #work #office #colleagues #anxious #shy
A friend of mine flew to New York, shortly after the attacks on the World Trade Center on 9/11. Because I knew when he arrived in New York, I sent him a text message like: "Bush, Bomb, Attack, Terror" or something like that.
He was scared after the plane had landed and he tought be would get arrested.
But nothing happened.
#attacks #wtc #newyork #bomb #terror #textmessage #evil #confession
Ive been seeing a guy for about 2-2.5 months now, he barely gives me any attention but the sex is great.
Since i got "together" with him i have slept with 3 different guys, 2 being exes.
I was always so against cheating but i just need that attention and love like i get from my exes.
I know his sleeping with other girls but i just cant seem to end it with him.
As kids me and my brother always hid the poop of our dogs in the newspapers of our neighbours.
Once, a man called and he wanted to sell me an abo for a newpaper. I told him that I was blind and not able to read. Then I insulted him and ask him why he's treating me like that. In the end, he cried and apologized.
Yeah, it was a lie but it's hilarious!
I started working a new job on Monday. I had to start at 8 and when I arrived I was almost shitting bricks because I was so nervous. And I mean LITERALLY my tummy was growling and I was feeling a bit unwell. My new boss greeted me and showed me around and I couldn't focus, so I asked him where the restrooms where and that was a really wise choice. My butt did not even hit the throne yet when the worst case of diarrhea I ever had started. It was disgusting and took me around 15 minutes to finish, but I felt better afterwards.
My boss was waiting for me in the room in front of the restrooms and I can only hope that he did not hear anything! But when I got out I swear he was kind of smirking.
So boys and girls, I recommend eating a lot of fibers before starting a new job!
#job #new #boss #diarrhea #embarrassing #nervous #butt #work
I'm the typical good girl, I dint drink, smoke, do any kind of drugs, made good grades, and am waiting till marriage for sex.
Little does everyone know that my fiance and I have had sex multiple times, the funny part is everyone makes jokes about how I'm so innocent and just a little Christian girl who will always be like "any way other than missionary is wrong and of the devil!"
When in actuallity I'm a total submissive, and my fiance is a Dom
He is my Alpha and I his Luna
We even plan on having me a collar made(whatever he wishes I wear) and he says once we are married(no one at all knows we have sex) I will never be leaving the house without marks on my neck showing I am his and he wants to get me a vibrator with a remote for Christmas and make us go on dates with me in a. dress and thong and see how well I can walk and just the thought of it has me dripping
I love when he is rough and pulls my hair and spanks me
When he bites my nipples till I can't stop squirming and then makes my boobs be covered in purple and red with hickeys
When we are watching tv and out of nowhere he sticks his hand down my pants and starts fingering me and playing with my clot till he has to. over my mouth so my parents won't hear(we aren't moving in together till the wedding)
I can't wait for him to tie my up and the bed and torture me for hours then put a vibrator in me on high and go to the store or to get dinner and leave me there(one of his favorite fantasies) and can't wait to get spanked and then have punishment sex when I forget to be waiting naked for him at the door when he comes home from work if I get home first or when I don't strip all the way down before going to bed
And can't wait for me to be in the shower and he comes in while I'm washing my hair so I can't see him and he just sticks his nice hard cocky inside my needy pussy, forcing me to bend over and up against the wall and sucking on my nipples or neck
God I need his cocky inside me right now, but I'm supposed to be sleeping, maybe I'll get in trouble 😉
When i was about 13 i was staying round my cousins house. we were both 13/14 at the time and we were both horny teenagers. we would often tease eachother- i would rub her tight little pussy while she bit the covers praying her mother wouldnt hear. But one night we decided to fuck, we planned it all out. set a date arranged it- i knew all this stuff from my older brothers so it wasnt much of a problem, also i watched a load of porn and was horny 24/7... desperate to lose my virginity i grabbed a condom from my brothers drawer and went to her house to see her. her mother was out so we had the house to ourself, it was awkward at first. we just layed in bed. adventually we started kissing and i slipped my hands down her pants gracefully- she had shaved a couple of days ago so there was a little stubble. i fingered her and rubbed her pussy till she was dripping wet. Then i asked if she was ready to fuck and she thankfully said yes- i slipped the condom on my rock hard dock then we tried to get it in being the newbies that we were. this faffing about made it kinda awkwar but finally i got it in and she slowly slid down until it was pretty much balls deep- we fucked and moved around a bit slowly because she compained it was hurting.. because we spent so long kissing and foreplaying there was barely anytime to fuck.. we was only going for about 10 mins until we heard a car door slam and the front door open, we both hurrily pulled our pants up and jumped out of bed. i didnt get to cum in the end so have been wanting to finish it off one last time but havnt had the courage to re-ask her. also i cant seem to get anymore condoms, i have one but im saving it for me & my girlfriend.. i wouldnt want to go unprotected for either of them
I confess that I'm only still friends with my "best friend" because we wanted to travel to New York this spring. Her uncle is super rich, got a big house and he's paying the flight.
Awesome!
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