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My entire life I have been trying to be normal. Trying to stop being nice & caring. I don’t want to be mean or cruel, just to be normal. Just to function like normal people do. That may sound stupid, but theres a pandemic. I need to change. Being too nice led to me failing those who love me. This pandemic makes it hard for me to function.
I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 and a half years now. We started dating when we were in high school (i was 16 and she was just about to turn 16 in a few months). I love her more than anything in the whole world. But ever since we started dating, i lost contact with all my closest friends, both male and female. She always finds problems with them. I have been loyal to her, i never once thought about cheating.
I used to be known by everyone in my batch and the younger people. And had not one enemy because i was always friendly and kind and outgoing with people. And because of that, i was popular with people, even the teachers lived me even though im mischievous in class and school. Fuck it, even the principal knew me. Both me and my big brother who was graduated by then. I had a really good reputation and it’s not because i tried to, its because I genuinely was kind and caring while also being fun and mischievous and athletic! (I understand that i wasnt the smartest kid around). Where as my gf was mostly surrounded by 3 toxic friends who equally lacked the social skills but was feeding negative and toxic things into her mind. My girl is smart and beautiful and extremely talented in sports as well! But those friends of hers were lazy at studies, tries to act like they’re it and like they are princesses who know exactly how people are when they are just protected children who hasn’t interacted with people! (They genuinely thought that life always goes as it is in movies). They brought down her grades massively and were hiding behind my girl while she does the dirty work guided by the things they put into her mind. They are also to blame for her starting to think I’m cheating on her with other girls or doing things behind her back. My girlfriend also lacks the ability to empathize and understand people at all. I partly blame the fact that she has almost never been exposed to interacting with public and was always protected by her family. But she deeply cares and tries to protect the people closest to her. Hence, the reason she did the dirty work of those toxic friends of hers.
She told me to stop hanging out with the guys who always had my back, who have helped me even in the little things, the guys i used to have friendly rivalries in sports and gaming. They were my brothers and people who i have even considered to be my bestmen when i marry. And she knew that. But she made me to stop hanging out with them. For the littlest things, for inability to understand how boys are. Obviously boys act differently towards each other. That’s what friends are. Thats what makes us G’s. Some of my friends did warn me about her, that she and those 3 friends of hers have a bit of a bad reputation. But they all were really open to my feelings and genuinely gave her a chance and we’re friendly to her. I just wish she was the same. They were happy for me and didn’t want to do anything that would hurt my relationship badly. But when they saw that she just won’t stop with the misunderstanding and trying to push me away, they tried to do their best to pull me closer too. But none of them tried to force me out of the relationship, they all adviced me though. That i have 3 choices, fix the relationship and make her have a change of heart so i can hangout with my friends, break up with her, or let go of them. I obviously decided option 1. But sadly it didn’t work.
And from girls, there was one girl in my friend group that she hated for some little reasons. But i know if she actually tried to, they could have been really close. She was in a different class and some girls in my class were pretty popular as well. And as I mentioned, i was really close with my friends girls too. But i always kept my girlfriend above them. Even so, my girlfriend wanted me to completely stop talking to that girl she hates and she wanted me to be rude to her and hate her too. I obviously can’t do that, a bond i have cannot be just broken and turned into hate. I tried to fix the problem there and remove that hate as well. I wanted my girlfriend to see that the problem that’s there between them is a simple thing that can be fixed. But her pride and ego is too massive for her to let go. She pretended to try but didn’t put even 1% of effort in it. I gave as much effort as i can with her friends... but she didn’t. I never told her to stop talking to her friends. NEVER. I only advised her of the things I felt, and i asked her to think about it herself, she let them go only when they told her that she spends time with me more than them which is not true at all, they know it and she knows it... every person who knows about our relationship knew it’s a stupid reason to start treating her differently. So she let them go... so coming back to my story... this hate towards her the spread like a flame to the other girl in my class, which those toxic friends of hers had a massive role in. How am I supposed to stop completely talking to people in my own classroom? How am I supposed to let go of friends girl or boys who i have created a memories and strong bonds? They all tried to befriend my gf but she doesn’t try at all! In the end my teacher found out about relationship and advised me about it too but i was so blinded by love that i never listened to anyone! So i lost contact with my friends both girls and boys! We went to college where some of my closest friends went to, by then my girl did let me talk to them, but it’s as if we were acquaintances and not friends. And she still continued to judge people.
She even started these things with my family! I don’t think there is a single member in my family she hasn’t had an issue with! Even my baby cousin who just turned 4! My mother and father and brother too! Every single person! She tried to make me stay home when we planned family trips which we rarely ever get to go! But she goes on more than 20 trips a year! She doesn’t let me have time with my family bc i have to text her or call her! She blames me for her having a bad life in high school! She blames me for having a bad time in college! And now she’s having a bad time in uni. She acts as her and her family are the perfect people! And i have changed a lot! I was the most patient man you would ever meet... and i am patient towards people who aren’t my family. But I get upset quickly towards her and my family now. I dont have much fun memories in high school and at home, we’re at uni in a different country, most of my friends who were close to me dont know where i am no. I dont have social media other than one chatting app bc she made me delete them, i only have a few contacts saved on my phone. And recently when she gets angry she gets a bit physical. And she says i have changed a lot. But she never tried to understand why i have changed. She says that you only need 2 or 3 close friends. But the friends “we” have are choices of her own. She gets in the way of my decisions, where she thinks her advise is better than my own mothers. To avoid fights in my relationship and to stop a fight where she says i always choose others over her or where she says that i never take her side and say my family is always right, i follow her advise. And some of those have come back to haunt me. I sometimes think back to when i used to have fun with my friends. Or when i have fun with my family. It’s so sad, if she stopped her attitude, made the relationship we have more important to her than her pride and ego, thought of my family as her own and treated it equally, and just listen to me and trust my decisions as a man, we could make this work. She sometimes understands that she has an issue with anger. But that’s it. She says that her rude attitude is actually her being a genuine and real person. Which is bullshit. There is a line between being true and being rude which she doesn’t see. She says that she has an attitude and if i dont like it i can leave which she know that if i wanted to leave i would have gone a long time ago, she blames me for people thinking badly of her when I really tried and people really tried (and there are instances where I actually had some fake friends who were rude to her, i stood up for her and took her side. Which she doesn’t appreciate).
And I’m not an angel. I never said i was perfect, i was never said I haven’t done wrong. I have lied to her about things. But all of those lies were to hangout with my friends, or because I know she’ll freak out if i tell her, to avoid unnecessary arguments, to stop arguments. But i dont have friends to go hangout with anymore or play some games or anything. I still have to hide some little details about anything regarding females. Even if i said i had a casual conversation with a girl, I would end up in a fight. It has reduced though, she understands a bit more now. But with this rate of growth, i would be old and dead by the time she understands.
But I know she cares and loves me, she made a huge decision of giving up her medicine degree to do it later just because I couldn’t get in at the time as well. She helped me with my studies, she has stood up for me even to lecturers when i have been treated unfairly, sometimes secretly and sometimes without listening to me, because she knows that I’m too forgiving to people and too kind to people and sometimes they abuse that about me. She has made sure and advised me to not let people walk all over me just because I’m too kind and forgiving and i know if I’m hurt or injured she’ll put away everything to come for me... I truly do lover her... i couldn’t stand to leave her, i want her and need her but I just want her to understand me, who I am and what i need. I always try my best to keep her happy. I don’t want to leave her.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
#relationship #toxic #advise #depression #sadness #needhelp #help #love #cheating #relationshipproblems
I thought I was done on earth. I was very wrong. I was so wanting to eat food.
I have fought a disease for so long. It’s very unpleasant. I was told everyone is doing great.
That is so not true.
So I ate what I wanted for the first time in years. Paid a price. Went back on the diet.
I could see nothing but negative around me. No one wanted my input. I was told the world is great. Life is good. OK then.
I’ve lived a life of sacrifice for others. It was time. I was going to be selfish. Eat what I wanted till the end.
I get a call. Could you come help? I ho there to fix a simple problem. While I’m there, I get pulled into a bigger problem. I deal with that.
Then I walk in to one heck of a problem. This one boggles me. Supposed experts have failed. Now I wonder in I can live long enough to help solve this.
I so wanted to finally just eat good food. But it seems I’ll have to sacrifice until the bitter end.
Ok so I'm 14 and sadly have no boyfriend. I know it may be bad, but I am craving for sex so bad. I just want to feel a guy's tongue down my throat, his pulsing dick inside of me and his moans in my ear. I need it so bad but I don't know what to do.
It's been 8 years since my first (and last) sexual relationship. Nowadays I find myself thinking about propositioning men, consequences be damned. I need to get laid so badly it's not even funny anymore.
#sex #loneliness #needs
I was alone, kicked out of my parent's house, and on the street at 16 with a backpack of some old clothes and had spent my last dollar on a bit of food, two days before. I hadn't slept in days, I was too afraid of lying there and having men possibly molest or rape me. I kept moving, and could barely walk anymore. I was at my wits end. Then a man in his mid 20's to 30's started talking to me on a park bench. He was very smooth talking, and the way he did it I didn't mind. He offered me $25 if I gave him a blowjob. I knew that I could get some food, get cleaned up a bit, and possibly get into a shelter if I acted early enough.
I went to his apartment with him, not knowing how risky that was, and gave him his blowjob, he gave me the $ 25. I asked if I could get something to eat and maybe use his toilet and shower. He told me it was OK. When he heard the shower turn off, he came into the bathroom, and took my clothes to wash. He told me to come out when I was dry. I used his blowdryer, and felt wonderfully clean, but I realized he had my clothes and I was now naked in a strange mans apartment. I walked out crying. He asked why and I let it all go, that I thought he might murder me or something. He showed me my clothes in the washer, and I settled down a bit. He told me to lie down in his bed and I knew what was coming. He stripped and fucked me, I just laid there with no reaction, I guess I figured getting raped or fucked was better than a beating or getting murdered. He then moved my clothes to the dryer, I was still naked, his cum was starting to gradually leak out of me. He wouldn't let me wipe it up, I had to wait with it slowly messing all over my lips, then a bit down my thigh. He just watched it while we sat on the couch in front of the television. He bent me over the kitchen table and fucked me one more time, then folded all my clothes, put them back in the backpack, and kept 1 set out for me to dress in. I dressed and left, and before I did he gave me two $ 20 bills, one for each time he fucked me. He made it very clear it was payment for the sex. He made me thank him and explicitly mention that I took $20 for each time he fucked me. I couldn't say "had sex" I had to say I got fucked for money.
I got into a shelter, and have managed to stay there and get fed pretty decently over time. A few times a week the guy would stroll around the park across from his apartment and would find me. He would pay me $ 20 to let him fuck me, and I got to use his toilet and shower most of the time. He reduced it to $ 10 when he wanted to come using my mouth. I tried once to ask for more, thinking I could hold out on him, instead he reached into my blouse with no bra and grabbed my C cups and dragged me by my tits to his bed. He would bruise my tits, but never like this, he was actually dragging me on the floor while I was crying, he held my tits so hard between his fingers. In the bedroom he threw me down on the floor, reached up under my short skirt and ripped my panties off and fucked me for no money at all, called me names, called me a prostitute, and said how he thought street whores were the worst kind of human beings. He then kicked me out, literally kicking me all the way down the hall and in the elevator and to the street. I didn't get any money and still got fucked and my tits were hurting terribly, I had bruises from his kicking me all over my thighs, butt, stomach, crotch, even my back and arms.
After that he went away on vacation for three weeks, and I ran out of money, so I let a few of the street guys, and 1 of the monitors at the shelter have sex with me for some food. The monitor spread word, and pretty soon I had all tree evening monitors fucking me, but I always knew I would have a spot in the shelter. The rich guy came back and I could add him to my money, he reduced what he paid me but didn't beat me anymore. So I was still getting about $50 to $80 a week fucking or sucking him, and one time he dressed me up like a catholic school girl and let one of his business friends fuck me several times. That was the first time a guy stuck his cock inside my butt. I did get paid though. $ 10 for every time I got fucked, and $20 for the two times his friend did it in my butt.
Eventually, I got cleaned up, and bought some better clothes, and turned a few tricks on the street without the pimps getting wise to me. Then I got enough money where I could go to work for an agency. I did that and was making some nice money, got a low end apartment, opened a bank account, and made enough to go to college and grad school. Now I have my own place, a graduate degree and work in R&D at a big pharmaceutical company.
I had to fuck for money for over 8 years to get here. From $ 20 a fuck to $ 500 a fuck and way more. Now I'm finally clear of it all and have a great six figure job, and not a man in site. I don't want one either, I have been fucked for men's pleasure enough. My parents wanted to get back in touch now that I had an education and good job, I pretended that was what I wanted as well. I went to my younger brothers birthday party at their house, with all the in-laws there, siblings and my parents. I pulled up in my BMW, everyone raving about me and how good I looked. Then I broke it down to them all, that when they kicked me out of the house, I was starving and had to let a stranger fuck me for $ 20 as the only way I survived. I had to let three ugly, fat motherfuckers fuck me all they wanted just to keep my place at the shelter, all the while still selling my pussy and mouth, and eventually ass for $20 or a sandwich. I looked so good, after 8 years of selling my body and prostituting myself because they made me survive anyway I could. Then I put on my fur, and walked out to my BMW and drove away. My brother and one of my sisters calls me every once in a while and really understands. I don't care about anyone who doesn't.
I think youtube should stop gangstalking videos because all they do is gang up on each other after asking for help this tony targeted in los angeles asked for someone to record him saying he wouldn't kill himself , if any one out there cared so I did and then wrote to him and said I had recorded it trying to offer support. he should not have his email on his youtube account and I believe most of the TI's on youtube are fakers and liars and scammers creative their own drama for attention and its all a scam and then they turn around and abuse you. So he threatened a legal action against me and I said I am sorry he took if so offensively as I did what he had asked but youtube really should be put a stop to all these cat fights of still human, candy who I tried to listen to her as well and she takes everything aggressive auguring with her relatives on youtube and I can now see why my mother says youtube is just a sick place for mental cases and mad insane people drama fantasising up their lives and its self torture to be on here. Wayne Morris wanted me to start a youtube and was insulted when I wouldn't. These men are just coward bullies who need have never had enough sucking on their mothers titty as children and never learnt to grow up and are just literally attention whores. you tube needs to stop this. it is going on in the vegan community with durianrider and freely still, its going on with tarot and make up and also TI hate filled animals are just mentally ill people anyway. I don't think one of them is real. It also went on between hailey reese and loey lane and andrew tmi and brittney crab etc ghost hunting so it seems to me they are all fighting animals. and youtube is just allowing the abuse and its the devils play ground. I threated to leave before when a call for an uprising did. and my mother is right , youtube is just self abuse going on it.
I am a 17 young hot horny female. I think people are intimidated by my good looks. I haven't had a boyfriend in two years and no sex since, except daily masturbation. Well I lost it and just kissed my friend. Nothing else. But she is a girl. I want a hard prick. Maybe I'll need to start showing more body to raise interest. Or putting on some leotards and hit the gym.
#lesbian #hard #sex #horny #penis #hot #want #need #masturbation
I want to know how feels if someone love you .. I'm tired of getting rejected by every single person that I told I liked them...I tried dating app ...some of them are fake ..I wish I could find someone...
One time I walked in on my sister and boyfriend having sex! The crazy part is they invited me to join them. The boyfriend had about a seven inch dick so that was exiting. The best part was when me and my sister started kissing. We then continued the relationship for a couple of years
I hate my life, I hate the people I know, I hate my job. I move for an advancement in my career. I've succeeded in becoming a network admin, but my life is empty. I'm an introvert, I can not connect with normal people. I want to give up.
It's been a rough day and I feel so alone. I wish I didn't. I wish I knew someone could see it and cared but no one does, I've gotten very good at hiding it from everyone...
I lie to my family, tell them I don't have shit to self-harm with, I go through their things for my addiction. The urges are too strong. I think i'm going to die soon by running into the highway.
I am a 54 year old woman, twice divorced and dating a really nice guy. The problem is that I don't like nice guys in the bedroom. I got addicted to having S&M sex with my second husband and a to a lesser degree with my first husband. My current boyfriend is only 42 and really likes me a lot, and he has the biggest cock I've ever had in a long term relationship. I've have several that were that big or even bigger but they were in gangbangs or one night stands.
I cheat on my boyfriend with my ex, and with two other men who will mistreat my boobs. I have DD boobs and really big, thick, long nipples. I love to have them mis-treated, tied up, clamped, weighted, hit and most importantly I like being tied up and helpless and have acupuncture needles stuck in and even through my boobs, and then have a man get on top of me and mash my boobs, mauling them while he fucks me and making the needles cause me to bleed. My ex likes to take 4" long needles and sticks them straight into my nipples and on into each tit as far as they will go. Then puts even more needles through my nipples and into each tit. He even pins my outer labia together using needles, sometimes if he wants anal sex, he pins the inner labia together with a needles every quarter inch or so. My inner labia are stretched and are about 3 to 4 inches long.
My boyfriend knows that we aren't exclusive and has seen some bruising and some blood stains on my boobs, inside my bras etc. but I can't bring myself to tell him of my secret lust for pain, especially hurting my boobs. I've taken his hands and used them while I maul my own tits while he fucks me but he won't initiate on his own.
I don't know what to do, I really like having a man 12 years my younger with a really huge cock to suck and ride, but . . . I get off most when my boobs have heavy pain inflicted on them.
#pain
I am 17f dating a 15f girl and my mother is threatening to kick me out of the house because my girlfriend is so young. I’m also in love with my 18f best friend. I don’t know what to do. We’ve been dating for a month now but I’ve liked my best friend for almost two years just never acted on it. What should I do??
#relationship #lesbian #underage #best #friend #bestfriend #help #needadvice #mother
I like this girl at my college. She’s really nice, but I won’t lie it’s her boobs that have me so obsessed with her. They are huge. I can’t even guess what size they are. Definitely bigger than DD. They’re distractingly big. We have gotten friendly. I follow her Instagram. And like any guy would do I was up one night and I wanted to jerk off to her pictures. But her Instagram only has old pictures of her. She’s probably 15 in them, the issue is those pictures her boobs are still big and she’s wearing bikinis in them. I tried to just not do it but I had to. I jerked to them. And I don’t really feel guilty because it’s just a photo, and I imagined she was the age she is now. I want her so bad. But I can’t imagine how many guys are thirsty in her messages because of how big her tits are.
I am a 17 yr old female high school junior. I have heard rumors about my gym teacher, she is also my vollyball coach being a lesbian. I am so attracted to her and think about being with her all the time. I make excuses to stay after practice just so i can be near her. i pretend to have a muscle cramp just so she can massage it and her touch drives me crazy. I have gotten very touchy feely with her hoping she gets what i am up to . I have gotten a little bolder by telling her how pretty she is and complimenting her on her incredible body. I spend most nights masturbating thinking about her. She is driving me totally crazy and i'm not sure how much longer i can go before i just come right out and tell her i want to be with her. Her smile, her face, her sweet scent is what my dreams are made of. God how i want to feel her hands all over my body, feel her lips against mine. I wish she knew.
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