Misery Confessions

I don't know where to put this so I'll just stick it here. I love my wife, I can't see myself ever not loving her. But she's fallen out of love with me. I'm suicidal as I've lost her love. A few months ago she got her self in trouble and was arrested I completely fell apart I cried and was hopeless. No help at all. She got police bail and released. To return at a later date. I hoped that this scare might have brought her back to me emotionally (we still live in the same house) but she still distant even more so, she drinks all the time and stays out to the early hours of the morning. She returned to the police this past Thursday and the matter was closed with her receiving a police caution This is where my confession happens on her last night out when she stayed out to 4.30 yesterday morning I actually started to wish she'd got a prison sentence for her misdemeanour that way I would not have to feel this neglect, and suffer the share panic I feel when she's out and does not contact me or answer her phone. I feel guilty for wishing such a thing but I'm in turmoil and her ways with me is worsening my depression. And it is slowly killing me

#misery   #love   #unfair