Read the best #me confession stories
I'm 13f and the other day I was lying in the park with my close friend who I haven't seen in like half a year. She told me she loved me and she wanted to kiss me, I don't know what happened but I kissed her very passionately it seemed like it lasted a life time. It was also my first kiss. We walked back to her house holding hands and stopping to kiss like 3 times. Later she asked me to be her girlfriend I said yea this is my first proper relationship and I just had to tell someone.
I'm at that age where if I tell any of my friends at school I'll get highkey judge and terrored so I'm telling the Internet.
I don't wish bad luck on people but I kind of would laugh if all the men I liked found out all their sons were not even their kids and they had no kids in their so called marriage and regret not coming to me as I am a faithful good woman. better still if they came running to me after all. at least 1 of them anyway. oh what a feeling!
Just started an affair with a woman who has a history of homewrecking.
The other day my wife's friend and i were talking one minute, then the next minute i was fucking her in the kitchen while my wife was out shopping. I decided to have a shower so my wife wouldn't notice, the friend decided to come in to the bathroom and we fucked again, it was chaos getting her out of the house before my wife came home. She wants more and so do i but i know i need to stop it before it goes any further.
This woman has a history of homewrecking too which scares me, but I am so drawn to her.
My wife is smart, she will figure it out quickly if it keeps happening plus i think i may just be the latest in this womans homewrecking career.
It does scare me, moth to the flame i guess. But if i nip it in the bud will i evoke some sort of woman scorned type retaliation?
So yesterday, i went to my friends apartement to play some games and swim together. We were both 17 and didnt really have a good love live because neither of us have had a girlfriend before. I known him since we were a kid and we were straight.
We often talk about "when will we got a girlfriend?" And "how does having sex feel like?" And much more typical boys topic but we never mention anything about male to male sex and stuff like that.
At one time, my other friends came and we play video games together. My bestfriend parents were on a vacation so there were only 5 guys on that apartment. 3 of my friends told us they want to go to the gym downstairs but i insist because i dont bring my gym shorts and i just want to hang out but they left us anyway.
It was just me and my bestfriend in the room. I was laying down on the bed because im so tired and he is playing with a baseball bat outside the bedroom. He then came to me and ask if im okay? I answered to him saying "im just a lil bit tired". He is an active guy and he plays for the school baseball team too. He wanted to make me feel better so he throw a baseball at me. It hit me right in the head and i throw it back at him.
He then walk towards me and we had an intense 2-4 minutes of wrestling because we do this since we were a kid and suddenly he said "unintentional boner is coming" and i SUDDENLY grabbed his crotch and I FELT his boner.
I apologize to him but he said its okay. I never meant to grabbed his crotch but to be honest i was curious why is he having a boner. We were a close friends but we never see each others package and we never wanted to talk about it anyway but yesterday was different.
After the awkward private area incident, he then asked me again why i grab his penis. I told him that i dont know why but its just reflex. He said that no one ever touch him like that and he is shocked why i was so curious about his crotch. He then ask me "would you like too see what you just did?" And i said "I dont know?" Because i dont want him to show his penis at me.
He then open his pants and show me his penis. It was red because i grabbed his crotch so hard and i think that he felt uncomfortable with it so i GRABBED his penis AGAIN to make sure that everything is alright. (I know it sounds so cheesy but i was curious because we were both had no brothers and i was really curious).
He then told me that "are u serious? Are u gay? U want to give me head?". I was so embarassed and i said "i dont know, maybe?". He said "are you sure?". I was shaking so bad and i answered "Im grossed out but i wanna try".
He then open up his pants again and said "if you dont want, dont". I was scared because im afraid that i was gay at the moment. I always liked girls and i kinda dont want to give him head but he was waiting and i was shaking so bad. I take a deep breath and i start putting his penis into my mouth.
It tasted like nothing and its just smell like my saliva. At first i choked and i said to him "its tasted weird" but then he said "dont use ur hands" because i was stroking him while sucking it. He then grabbed my head and push it so hard that i almost gagged. It was so exhausting and at one time i take a break and just stroking him. He then looked at me and asked "do you wanna kiss?". Im totally confused and before i made an answer, he grabbed my head and kissed me on the lips.
It was my first kiss with anybody and i never tought it would be from my bestfriend. He then told me that he wanted to cum. I help stroking him and he asked me to suck him again so i sucked him again the suddenly a tasted of weird liquid felt into my mouth. He jizzed inside my mouth!
I felt like i wann puke and he said "go throw that out". I ran to the bathroom and i puke his jizz out. I cried in the bathroom and im so scared of what have i done. I regret i've done that to him. I go to the bedroom again and we sit in silence for around 2 minutes.
He then said to me, "i never tought i would kiss you". I apologize to him but he said "its okay, you want it and i give it to you". At one point he mentioned that it felt really good but he still dont like girls and i said "i was curious too". We sit together in awkward and i went home early because i felt uncomfortable.
I never talk with him ever since and now im scared and embarassed of myself. Do you guys think that im gay?
Okay so, I'm a fifteen year old girl. Never have I once had sex or been pleasured by someone else. BUT. I pleasure myself all the fucking time. You see I think I have an honest problem. I fucking love porn, I do. Especially ones where two girls go at it or where a girl gets eaten out. I just can't sleep without watching AT LEAST one. My other problem is with masturbation. I had a day off of school today, so I used like ALL day to just go to town with myself. Porn at a good volume, completely naked, moaning, bringing myself to orgasm over and over. I way not me much to look at to some, but if I ever get the chance to finger fuck a girl I will have had PLENTY of practice!
I hope who ever is reading this can take a sec to imagine me touching myself. My sweet little virgin pussy lips being spread apart my my thin fingers. Me using my other hand to slowly put pressure on my clit, yelping in pleasure. Then I begin to rub circles around and on top of my clit. I let out high little moans and squeaks as I pinch my nipples simultaneously. As I remove my hand from my still throbbing pussy I bring my fingers to my lips and swirl my tongue around and between my fingers, coating them in spit only to penetrate myself with them. I rock them in and out of my tight walls, moaning in ecstasy. I thrust my hand in and out even faster until my entire body shakes with an orgasm and I scream out your name. (For writing purposes lol)
Hope that was descent, cause it was pretty accurate misuse the whole "your name" thing.
#smut #masturbation #horny #lol
Me and my gf do sexting i ask her to make me jelaous so she tell me she want get fuck by 2 guys infront me.
I started cutting hair when I was 18yrs old. My boss' client at the time had a one year old and he was my first client. I have cut his hair for 32 years now. I've watched him grow up and his family has given me a lot of business and even helped me buy the salon from my boss when she was ready to retire. He could call me the day of and get an appointment. I just care for him that much. Yesterday he did just that. I didn't have any openings but told him he could come in at 7pm and I'd stay late for him. I stayed until 11. I cut his hair for 30 minutes and he used me like a sex doll for the rest of the time. He confessed that he and his wife were breaking up while I was cutting his hair. She had already moved some things back to her parents' house. I don't know what came over me but when I finished his cut, I just kissed him. We had the best sex I've had in 20 years. I'm so hopeful he texts or calls today to thank me because I'm off today and ready to repeat it.
I thought I was done on earth. I was very wrong. I was so wanting to eat food.
I have fought a disease for so long. It’s very unpleasant. I was told everyone is doing great.
That is so not true.
So I ate what I wanted for the first time in years. Paid a price. Went back on the diet.
I could see nothing but negative around me. No one wanted my input. I was told the world is great. Life is good. OK then.
I’ve lived a life of sacrifice for others. It was time. I was going to be selfish. Eat what I wanted till the end.
I get a call. Could you come help? I ho there to fix a simple problem. While I’m there, I get pulled into a bigger problem. I deal with that.
Then I walk in to one heck of a problem. This one boggles me. Supposed experts have failed. Now I wonder in I can live long enough to help solve this.
I so wanted to finally just eat good food. But it seems I’ll have to sacrifice until the bitter end.
I had sex with an escort. I can't tell this to anyone in real life. I feel shame but I don't regret it. I think I might do it again soon.
#sex #prostitution #escort #shame
I was 8. My 7 year old sister went to tell on me for something I didn't do. Next thing I knew I was being spanked naked on the kitchen table with my family watching. "What did you do ?" Asked dad. "Nothing !" I replied. This went on for a little while until he believed me. Frustrated, he called my sister out to the street and spanked her naked on the sidewalk before leaving her there for 10 minutes naked. When she came back in, she told dad I was lying. Confused, my father warned us that if the liar didn't come clean, he would humiliate us both so badly. Once he left, my sister and I went into our room to talk about it. We agreed to play scissors paper rock and the loser had to confess. I lost and went to be humiated. When my dad found out, he called the entire extended family over for lunch.
When they arrived, I was forced to eat naked and my cousins laughed their head off. Once lunch was over, dad made me put on some undies and hooked my up to a tree, giving me a massive wedgie. Once I was up, he cut off every thing that hid my parts leaving me with a massive wedgie naked. While I was hanging there, they played soccer for 45mins until my "undies" broke. As soon as I was down, dad bent me over and let everyone spank me for as long as they wanted, with a belt. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, dad went to the fence and asked the neighbours to come over. They did so and also spanked me. Once my but was as red as a tomato, dad got more undies and hung me up again, with the same cutting out. I was forced to stay there for 30mins while the cousins played with my butt as a piñata, hitting we ver and over again with a wooden spoon. When I thought it was finally over, my dad made me walk around the block naked, knocking on all the doors and telling them what I did, before asking them if they wanted to spank me. Most said yes. When I got home, I found out the cousins were going to stay and we were going to camp in the backyard.i asked dad for my clothes back, be he made me stay naked for the entire year when not at school, including when going outside. Anyway, for the rest of the arvo, we swam in the pool, spanked me, wedged me, and watched movies, while spanking me. Then at night, I was forced to sleep outside of the tents, naked, facing upwards. When I was awake, I found I was the first, and hurried inside to get some clothes, but when I walked out of my room, my dad was there. When he saw me dressed, he screamed, ripped them off me, made me put on a swimsuit ( the speedo kind ) and told me to follow him. We went to the table and he installed a hook into the roof, before hanging me on it until breakfast. At breakfast, he spoon fed me puréed apple and told me that today I was everyone's baby and had to what they said, and wasn't allowed to speak properly, shower, or use the toilet. Then he got me down, and put me in a nappy and shoved a binki in my mouth. He then told my little cousin, that I was a baby and needed to be looked after. She squealed with delight and took me to a room. Where I was fed a bottle. I got angry and spat it out, but she told me that if I didn't want my father to know, I had to do something for her. I immediately said yes and she told me I was to let her change my nappy. I obliged, and before I knew it, I was being washed and wiped by my 5 year old cousin. Then she put me in a pink nappy before deciding that she wanted me to not wear anything. So for the rest of the day, I was naked, being spanked, wedged and being wiped in the bum by my cousin. Just before they left, my family took a picture of all of us, and I was in the front, naked, and hating my sister.
#naked #stripped #family #public #wedgie #spanking #punishment #embarrassing
What do you think is the worst thing that could happen to you while on a job?
Today, while working I noticed a strange smell. The smell didn't fade but was constant. Some customers in our shop looked at me in a strange way but I didn't think about it. Until I saw the brown stuff dropping down my pants. I got diarrhea while working, didn't notice it and shit my pants...
Worst. Day. Ever.
#diarrhea #job #smell #confession
I am a 16 year old highschool boy, and I finally fucked someone. My best friend who is 15 lived on the same street as me for about 8 or 9 years with his divorced mom. We've always hung out, explored together, and as puberty happened to us we would strip around each other, even jack off together. I even tasted some of his sperm and he tasted some of mine. I have a sister who is 15 also, and when possible and no one was home we would go through her dirty clothes and pull out her used panties and smell them, even jack off into them. Then we started doing the same to my moms hamper. In her pants we would see more, even some of what I assume was my dads sperm in them, and they always smelled more of her sex than my sisters panties. We would do the same with his mom's dirty undies and bras.
His mom left us alone for this past weekend, staying at his house, my parents just down the street she didn't think anything of it. On Saturday morning we both got naked and were in his moms room going through her things. We found some pretty wet panties and we sniffed them, rubbed our cocks in them. Both our moms are pretty hot still, in their early 40's but really nice bodies. My mom actually has a better body than my sister does. Going into a drawer in her walk-in closet he brought out a huge vibrating dildo. I mean this things was bigger than any cock. It was like two soda cans stacked on top of each other. We couldn't believe she stuck that thing inside her. I turned it on and rubbed it against his cock and balls and he got instantly hard. He did the same to me. In her nightstand I found some KY jelly.
"You know what this is for?" I asked
"What?"
I explained that it's for anal sex mostly and it lets things slip in really easy. He took some on his finger and pushed his finger inside his ass while I watched. I put some on my finger and pulled his out, and stuck my finger in his ass and moved it back and forth, penetrating him fully the entire length of my middle finger.
"Goes in nice and smooth huh?" I said
"Really smooth" he muttered through his grunts and moans.
He laid down on the bed face down spreading his cheeks, and told me to put some on his butt. I did, pushing it in and around his hole.
"Now put some more on you, get it all over it" he said
I started putting more on my finger and he said no, that he meant to put it on my cock. I rubbed it all over my cock and took up his invitation, laying on top of him on his mother bed. I slowly but steadily pushed my thick 7 inches into his baby smooth butthole. I was in and stopped. He was moving his bottom around and asked if I was all the way in. I had about an inch left and he grunted as I pushed it all the way. He started rocking his ass in fucking motions and I asked if that was what he wanted me to move like. The reply was almost a pleading for me to do it. I started fucking him. It felt so good to be inside someone I didn't care that it wasn't a girl. I always dreamt of fucking a girls but his ass felt so good, so tight along my shaft. I could feel his warmth all the way with every stroke. Added to the great feeling, I was sniffing his moms panties and could smell her pussy. I couldn't hold out more and after about 4 or 5 minutes I started moaning and thrusting really fast and really hard.
"Do it, do it, fuck me, fuck me real hard" he kept saying over and over as I was shooting my sperm inside his butt.
After I was done I just laid there with my cock still inside him. Eventually it slipped out of him and we both got up and cleaned up. I'd finally fucked someone. Not what I'd imagined but at least I fucked and came inside someone.
We don't talk about it, but we went and bought our own KY so we wouldn't use up his moms. We even found some naked pictures of his mom. That evening we both slept in her bed, I had slept there the night before alone. This time I fucked him on his back. I even sucked his cock after fucking him once, one of the times he jacked off while getting fucked. I don't really want to suck him or to get fucked, I just want to fuck and get sucked. So it's Friday now, we have another weekend without his mom. We've stayed all week together. I fucked him 5 times that Saturday and Sunday and got sucked off once, and sucked him once. This week, we would fuck when we woke up in the morning, or he'd suck my cock and jack off while doing it. We always had some form of sex at least for me, if not him when we got home from school, and at night in bed we fuck like newlyweds.
I really want to fuck a womans pussy but I like this for a nice substitute for now.
I confess I don’t know how to talk to girls.
#lonely #frustrated #mad #bored #sex #judgemental #been #a #while #stupid #ex
I worked with this guy and he opened up about sexual things he’s done and the last thing he told me has me feeling weird. For context he’s in his 40s, 6’4’ probably 250. Big guy. He said he met a girl on a dating app. She was barely 18, super cute, and a virgin with no experience. A good girl. She was desperate to do something sexual before graduating high school because her friends pressured her and made fun that she was a goody goody. He convinced her to meet with him. He practically forced drugs in her face, and then used her. She never even drank before and he had her high on some serious drugs. Then he used her in every way he could. He was so detailed on how he choked her to sleep and would fuck her twitching body. Then she stayed at his house for two days before he was bored and let her leave. He said she left and barely made it home. She got in a lot of trouble at home and he forced her to lie about where she was. He said he tried to get her to meet him again but she wrote him a long paragraph about how scared she was and how she will have nightmares of him forcing her to do nasty things to him. He laughed while telling me this. Then she luckily blocked him. I felt grossed out and bad for this poor girl. He described how she felt and how nervous and small she was. I hope she’s ok and for him I just can’t imagine being like that. So weird and kinda freaked me out. After he told me we just have small talk. I like a good sex story but that one was so weird and has me feeling odd.
I confess I gave my boyfriend food supplements because he was very skinny. He gained over 25 kilograms and looked very good and hot. His appetite increased very much and he gained more weight and now he's slightly overweight.
But he doesn't care, I do. I don't want to be with a fat guy. :(
#boyfriend #food #supplements #skinny #weight #oveweight #confess
I feel different now. It’s hard to explain but I’m 20 years old. I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. We were together for 2 years and she was my first and only when it comes to sexual stuff. She’s very pretty but thin. I thought it was great until this last weekend. This girl that just started going to my gym came on to me at 1am when I was working out. She’s like 30 years old, not the best looking face but pretty good sized boobs but an amazing lower half. Thick thighs and a big butt. I wasn’t attracted to her personality but sexually I’ll admit I was into her. She told me she was looking for a casual partner. We slept together once and I couldn’t believe how good it felt. I never felt curves before. Just feeling a different body in bed was amazing but to feel all her thickness. I feel addicted. I feel guilty as well because I do still love and want my ex back. But I don’t know how I can go back to being sexually attracted to my ex when this girl made me finish twice in the same hour.
I'm a 26 year old male and I love having sex with women.. But sometimes.. I just really need some cock.. I love going to men's gay saunas and having steamy hot sex with other men, especially on orgy nights.. There's just something so hot and erotic about having a cock in your mouth.. a cock in your ass.. someone deep throating your cock.. and having cum sprayed all over your body.. all at the SAME TIME... I love being a slut..
I don't have a single friend on this planet. I have some online people I talk to but they really aren't friends. I thought they were but aren't. My husband only stays with me because I support him. My kids don't even like me. My dog got mad at me for getting my daughter a dog of her own and won't have anything to do with me. I'm the most lonely and miserable person on the planet. My grandmother was my best friend and she died two years ago. I haven't spoken to anyone at all for more than a few minutes since she died. I wonder almost daily if everyone wouldn't be better off without me. I honestly don't think anyone would even notice I was gone.
So this confession isn't exactly a confession. But I want to write anonymously about how I've been hurt and how I've had nightmares over this for almost 7 years. And the minor PTSD I have learned to live with. Some may relate or you might think this isn't so bad and some have had it worst. But here it goes. I was 15 years old. I was still just a girl and at JHS where there was this boy who had just become a man. Someone who had changed my entire aspect of life and I wouldn't even realize it yet. This guy, we will call him Mason, was the first guy I tried to be serious with. Now at 15, and as a girl, you think that relationships are supposed to be like fairy tales and rainbows, but this was far from it. The beginning was magical. I was only allowed to go outside my house once a month, because my parents said that is only how many times girls should be allowed out. With Mason, I decided to sneak out and go out more than once a month. I sneaked out quite often at the time, actually. When I thought everything was going great, Mason gave me a cool looking ring. This Gothic-rustic looking ring that he told me his great-great grandmother once worn and it was sweet. And I wore it, of course. It wasn't till a month after sweet-nothings, late road trips around the town, and holding hand-in-hand together that something was the worst thing. He cheated on me with my best friend.
Now I say this was the worst thing, but being 15 and having nothing harm you or hurt you, being completely over protected from the world, this did seem like the worst thing. But what you are about to read isn't something I recommend for you to read. If you want to stay cheery and read all of the funny confessions, then just scroll on. Just don't read the rest. It's okay to not read on. After all, no one cared to hear me out for 7 years.
I screamed at him. I was furious. I had never felt such a feeling before. I was angry, I wanted to strangle him, I wanted to cry, and I wanted to run. I even yelled at her, my own friend. How could someone betray someone so terribly? But later on I found out that this had been going on for a few weeks and it wasn't just her; there were 4 other girls at this high school he had been cheating on and I wasn't even the original girlfriend.
He said that if I had sex with him, he would break it off with her and all of his other girlfriends. I was a virgin, I was emotional, I thought "If this will make the pain away, then sure." And so I agreed. In the backyard of my parent's house while my family was gone. It was painful and raw. It burned from the friction and there was no enjoyment out of it. I hated myself in the middle of this and I hated myself for too long after this.
Out of no where, I heard my mom's car pull into the drive way. I freaked out and told Mason that he has to leave. But with the garage right next to the exit of the back yard, there was no way to make a quiet escape. So we tried to stay quiet and hide against the wall, but then my mother caught us red handed. She wasn't yelling, though, she was surprisingly calm about it and seemed to not really care. But she said she was going to call my father, and that was probably why. She told Mason to get out asap and so he did.
It wasn't till I saw my father that I knew what true fear could be.
Let me stop for a second. This might have seem like a story where the boyfriend cheating on me would have also been the guy who physically or mentally abused me. But Mason looks like a super hero for what happened later was much more terrifying.
He was in the dark. Just standing there silent with his chest puffed like he was ready to strangle someone. He asked what had happened in such a dark voice that the hairs on the back of my neck immediately stood. I explained that I had sex with Mason. And I don't remember much what happened after that night. It's still very blurry. I remember screaming and running from my dad. I remember him pushing me and grabbing his belt to be used more than for spankings. I remember my mom..
My mom. I remember that she saved me from that one incident. She said "It's just sex, what's the big deal? You lost your virginity at 12." And I hadn't even realized that it was over my losing my virginity.
Somehow she managed to calm him down, but they took my phone away and said I was grounded for 3 months or until further notice (meaning it could last longer).
The groundings I had were awful. They weren't little kid groundings or spoiled kid groundings where they kept their games and computers. Nah, I wasn't allowed to talk to friends, my computer was taken, my television was taken, my books were taken. I was just given a bed and if my parents were in a good mood, I would be allowed to join them for food. Otherwise, I would eat alone. I was allowed to only read the Bible, (and let's be honest, that's not the most entertaining book to read) and I did my homework. Most of the time I just read math books or science books just to switch it up. My brother got amazing groundings.. He kept his TV, his phone, his XBox... His groundings were just him in his room...
I digress.. Anyways. So I stopped talking to Mason since he didn't keep his promise (go figure) and tried to move on. I showed up to school without my school ID, and at JHS, that's immediate detention. So I had to have detention right after school ended. I didn't want my parents to worry about picking me up since my mom was out of state for work and my father was at work, so I asked some friends for a ride (I also had no way of contacting my parents since I didn't have a phone still). Everyone I knew said that their parent's weren't picking them up until 6 pm and it was 3:30 pm, so it looked like I was walking home. I didn't live too far. Just a couple of miles, it would take me like an hour or two worth of walking, so it would have been fine. I start heading out and out of no where, my father pulled up to me and screaming at me. He said that I was trying to catch a ride with Mason to take me home. I was sort of stunned, because I hadn't even talked to Mason in about a week, and I was trying to figure out how this assumption was just made.
He whipped out my phone and showed me a text directly from Mason saying "Hey, I heard you needed a ride home. If you want, I can give you a ride."
I didn't have my phone on me so it wasn't as if I could have known about this text and Mason wasn't anywhere near me where my father found me, so there was no need to freak out. But he screamed at me to get in the car, and as a good little daughter, I did.
And I sure wish I didn't... Maybe I wouldn't have so many nightmares and paranoid thoughts...
He was driving so fast. It was only 65 MPH on the highways but it felt much faster. Maybe it was all the screaming and questions he was asking me.
Father said, "Why did you ask Mason for a ride?!"
"I didn't! I asked some other friends, I didn't even see Mason there!" I exclaimed.
"LIAR!" He yelled. Slamming his fist on the steering wheel, "Why lie?! I already caught you! Just admit it! JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH!"
But I had. I didn't know how else to get him to believe me. I just kept telling him the truth over and over and over again but it wasn't the right answer.
We got home. I was even more scared now the car ride ended. He got out of the car, ran over to my door before I could even get out, grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the car.
This wasn't my father. This wasn't the same guy that helped me scratch off "owies" or the same guy that taught me to ride a bike. I had no idea who this guy was. His eyes.. They were so cold and dead. They were so evil.
My arm. It hurt so bad. I got a bruise from how hard he grabbed me. He shoved me into the house and started yelling "TELL ME THE TRUTH! TELL ME THE TRUTH!" over and over again. I told him the full story and it wasn't enough. He somehow couldn't believe it. I was somehow lying and that my honesty was not real.
He got quiet. He looked over and saw a full load of laundry in the laundry basket all neatly folded and slightly over-spilling. And I was so curious as of why he was eyeballing it so often.. He grabbed the full loaded basket and threw it at me like pitching a baseball.
Now you may think "oh, just a laundry basket?" But this laundry basket weighed a good 10 pounds (easily more). And if something being thrown at you going at such a speed, it can feel harder than what it actually is.
For example, a baseball on average weighs about 5.25 oz, and the average potato weighs 5.3 oz and a large potato can weigh 8 oz. My father took a large potato and threw it at my mother's shoulder like a baseball... It dislocated her shoulder from how close he was to her and how fast he threw it.. She was left with a huge bruise for so weeks.
With someone that can throw that hard, I don't feel too embarrassed by saying that I got a big bruise from a full loaded laundry basket.
I fell. I tried to gather myself up, but he knocked me back on the ground anyways. He stood over my legs so I knew not to try to get back up and I watched him take his belt off. He doesn't just use his belt for spankings...
He started yelling at me again to tell him the truth, and I gave him the same answer, 'cause I couldn't think of a lie on the spot, and it wasn't the right answer.
Why could it not be the right answer? It was the truth! He wanted the truth! I gave it to him! I told him! I yelled it to him! I screamed and yelled the truth! And it was NEVER the right answer!
It gave me a flashback from when I was a little girl, only 4 years old, and my parents said that "as long as you tell us the truth, you will never be in trouble." And it was that exact flash back that made me feel.. It made me give up.
I screamed. I cried. He hit my leg! MY LEG! My left leg was more blue than my actual skin color. I hadn't seen such a big bruise in my life.
"WHY? WHY ARE YOU HITTING MY LEG?" I screamed. He just kept hitting me.
I screamed more and more and he said "Because you lied!"
"But I didn't!" I started sobbing and screaming "I didn't!" and he was about to hit me again and I yelled "I WANT MOM!"
And he stopped. For just a second I could breathe. I was allowed to breathe for just.. a second... I was thinking 'maybe I can call mom! She'll save me! She won't let him kill me!'
It was quiet for too long. One second too long.
And he finally spoke "Oh, Sara.. Your mother isn't here to save you this time! I am so tired of you getting away with so much bull sh** and when I try to punish you it's always your mom that saves you! Oh but not this time, Sara dear! You're finally getting what you deserve!"
My hope was shattered..
And he went at it again.. It continued for way too long.. I still have nightmares about this night. I remember exactly what he was wearing... How his hair looked. Which direction I was thrown. I can point out the exact location from the high school where he picked me up.
He was wearing dark brown shoes. The same ones he wore to work everyday cause they look nice with every outfit he wore. His shirt was a polo striped shirt. Brown and tan stripes.. And Khakis... And that belt.
I worked at night shifts Wal-Mart one summer to stalk the shelves and I couldn't stalk the men's department. Specifically the belts. When I touched one, I cried. I didn't even realize I was crying. It was just the touch of it..
The dark brown belt. It was so smooth. It had a nice brass buckle on it that looked nice but didn't feel nice when it hit you, too.
My brother arrived from school.. I screamed to him "CALL THE POLICE! CALL THE POLICE! DAD IS TRYING TO KILL ME!"
But my brother was just as scared of him as I was. My brother just went into his room and hid. He was only 12, but I hated him for it for a long time..
My father had convinced him to stay out of it and when my father decided to catch his breath, I decided to try to make my escape. I wasn't sure where yet, but I had to at least get out of his reach. The door to the outside was too close, that he would easily stop me. I ran to the bathroom, to try to lock the door. It was far enough that maybe he wouldn't reach me in time for me to lock the door.
He turned his back. That was my chance! I got up and ran right into the bathroom before he did!
My hands were so shaky and my legs were so beaten on that I could hardly run as fast as I normally could.
I didn't close the door fast enough. I tried to just use my body as a weight to keeping the door closed but he was three times my size and weight. It didn't matter. He got inside the bathroom and told me to go to my room.
I ran inside my room and tried to close the door but he came in anyways.. And it happened again. He took his belt and hit my arms, my legs, my side. He hit my face. He was physically on top of me so I couldn't run away this time.
When fight or flight comes to play, and you aren't allowed to flight, you have no other option but to instinctively fight back. I never wanted to hurt my father. I used to cry when a cute butterfly died or if I accidentally hurt a frog. I never wanted to hurt anyone. But I didn't have control of myself at this point. I was just screaming and crying and I used what I had - my nails.
I clawed at my dad so often that I drew blood on him. I scratched his face, his arms, anywhere I could in hopes that it would get him off me so I could run away.
And after so many hours of being hit.. It finally happened. He got off of me and stopped hitting me. I waited to hear a sink running and I ran out the front door. I still had my shoes on and I didn't have a phone but I ran anyways.
The neighborhood was pretty open, there weren't many places to hide, but as long as I was in a public place, he wouldn't touch me. He would put on his "I am the fun sporty coach of a dad!" act. He found me not so long of me running. I was so exhausted from being hit in the legs, my legs were already throbbing without me needing to try to run on them. He asked me where I was going and I told him my friend's house.
Instead, I went to the closest restaurant and asked for their phone. I called Mason (I know, it wasn't a good idea, but he was the only one with a car that I knew) and asked him to take me to the police station, cause my father had seriously bruised me everywhere.
When I got there, I filed a report. I called my mom and told her everything and my first thought was "Finally! My mom! She can save me! She'll listen to me and we can make dad go away forever!"
She called my aunt and uncle to have them pick me up and then my father showed up at the police station to write out his side of the story.
He had quite the advantage. The odds that adults are going to listen to a 15 year old *girl*. I didn't realize it then, but the odds were stacked quite against me.
He lied to police. He told them that I was just a delusional 15 year old girl with teenage girl hormones that made me over exaggerate what was happening. The police and every adult ever bought his story. I showed the police my bruises and they asked him to explain it.. He said that "Well she was just disobeying and I had to discipline her, but she wouldn't stay still." And all my chances of being free from this wicked man were gone... He was a snake.. He had everyone around his finger. He called my mom and told her the same lie, so my mom stopped believing anything I said. He even added "Since she is so delusional, maybe we should take her to Laureate." Laureate is the psych ward in town. He had managed to take everything I said that was true about him and twist it into what made him look like the good guy and made me sound like an over dramatic teenager.
For years my mother looked at me like I was "not all there" and my brother decided to add onto my father's lie, because he was so scared of him, himself.
Two years after the incident, my parents got a divorce. My mom caught my father cheating on her.
My whole family still looking at me funny and still not talking to me.
For 4 years my mother didn't believe a single small thing I would even say, even after the divorce and her catching all of his lies. No one believed my warnings for four years.
Until it happened again.
My brother... I would never wish that kind of abuse on anyone.
After four long years of being silenced, of being treated like I was insane, of being treated like I was less than a person. For FOUR YEARS of not talking to anyone because my father told my friends at school and the school principle and anyone I ever knew.
For four years.. I can't even count how many times I got close to suicide over this. But I was too scared to actually do it myself. I tried to put myself in dangerous situations so maybe someone else would have done it for me. Maybe someone would be drunk and drive into me. Maybe I would fall asleep at the wheel. Nothing worked though. I stopped trying when I got to college.. I was safe there.. I think that's all I wanted..
For four years... My brother still was too scared to tell anyone what happened to me...
Four years after the incident, it happened again.. Almost the same exact word-for-word story I told my mom...
I got a phone call while I was in my dorm watching some tv and my mom told me the most great and horrendous news. "Sara, I.. I am so sorry. I should have listened to you all those years ago." I immediately sat up, wondering if she meant... "You were right. What happened to you, I should have listened. I am so sorry. I had no idea that your father actually did that to you, and I am so sorry that I didn't listen to you."
I immediately cried. I couldn't help it. Having your own mother think you are insane or like there is something wrong with you hurts so much... And it was like a weight was lifted off that I started sobbing. My next thought was, 'wait... why is she believing me now out of all these years?' so I asked "Wait, what happened? Why do you believe me now?"
I was hoping for more of a "Your father confessed" kind of thing, but I suppose that was hopeful.
"Sara.. I am so sorry. But your brother.. he was just beaten by your father and what he told me is almost exactly what had happened to you..."
I sank. I cried even more. My brother?! I had refused to see my father after the divorce, and still refuse, but maybe if I had gone to see him. Maybe if I kept him in my life it wouldn't have been my brother. I would much rather it be me.
My father stalked me, tested me, hit me, and did everything to keep me always on my toes.. I still get nightmares till this day and when I am having a normal day, I swear I can see him watching me. It's like I see his actual physical self right there, but when I look again he isn't there. I hate that my brother had those nightmares to share and he feels paranoid still that father is around somewhere..
I feel like I see him so often. On a bus.. In the car in front of me, in the truck behind me.
When I see his name, I immediately think back to the incident..
I can hardly live like this... I am about to graduate from college with a BSCS and I am still scared.. He facebook messaged me asking to go to my graduation, but I can't. I can't do it. People think I am being some selfish child that won't see her father, but I can't. I can't do it, and for my own mental health, I refuse..
#physical #mental #abuse #stalk #stalking #scared #ptsd #emotional
My first time having sex was with a woman much older, I was early teens. She was married and her husband watched her with other guys. He set up many gangbangs for her usually all men their age (mid 30's). They let me come in at the end of one of her gangbangs, in a motel room, after everyone had left and it was just the two of them, I guess because of my being underaged. She hadn't cleaned up at all as he liked her to get all messy during and didn't even permit her 1 clean up during her gangbangs. She was lying there on the bed with a pool of cum beneath her ass and pussy. She had a very hairy pussy and much of it was matted with cum too, cum splashed on her belly, her face, her tits. Her legs were open, I sucked her C cup tits and make her nipples perk up. He told me I didn't have to be nice because she was a whore and you just piled on and fucked whores. Then I got between her legs, and stuck my cock into her loose cunt and felt the pool of cum on the bed on my balls. I fucked her loose, cum filled cunt and added mine to the mix. He made her stay there while I recouped, even made her suck me and I got hard again, and once again filled her with my sperm. While I was doing that she sucked her husband and he came in her mouth. She kissed me while I was fucking her and squeezing her boobs, and I could taste his cum as she pushed some into my mouth with her tongue. It was not only my first fuck, she was also my first kiss, with her husbands cum in her mouth.
He said I could come by there house and fuck her sometime there, without all the gangbang mess. I can't wait.
Confessions by confessionstories.org
