Horrendous Confessions

My ex and I broke up 4 years ago, because I behaved like a total dick most of the time. Yes ok, it as not ONLY my fault, she was also at fault, but MOSTLY, my behaviour was the reason we broke up. Back then, we still were in the same group of friends, so I knew that she still had feelings for me after the break-up. We were long distance, so we did not see each other anymore.
When I was back home a few weeks later, I went to a friend's party and she was there, too. We talked for hours about our relationship and she let it slip that she still had feelings for me and wanted to reconcile. She cried a lot and I reassured her that I would come back to her place after the party. I actually wanted to get laid, but I was so fucking drunk I hardly could sit straight...
So, then we decided to leave the party and I walked her home.

In front of her door, the moment came.. to kiss or not to kiss.. I was about to put my hands on her hips when I let one rip and I mean the most disgusting, but silent fart anyone in the history of mankind ever let out. It took about 2 seconds before the most foul and awful smell hit us and she actually gagged and pulled away.
It was so disgusting and I was really embarrassed, so I said my goodbye and walked away rather abruptly. I never saw her again.

So, I confess and plead for forgiveness. I somehow managed it to scare off the love of my life when I actually tried to win her back.
I will never mix beer and kebab again!

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