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Did i go to Heaven twice; or imagine it?
I'm a skeptical person. I don't believe ghosts are possible. I think big foot was the silverback gorrila. People see a deer/bear; panick; & imagine the shadow is bigfoot. Nessie was wood; & dolphins. Giant squid was real. Etc.
Ive had people tell me my eyes glow: just odd eyes. This has caused some to call me a star child. I like to mess with people to try to help teach them not to believe in crazy stuff.
But some of the signs are real. But let's face it; they ars vague. A lot of butterflys used to land on me: i emit a sweet smell when i sweat. Butterflys need the salt. A lot of kind animals liked me. Well; I'm nice. I think i emit more pharamones than most. Till recent old age i had a higher pitch very musical voice.
A lot of birds whistled at me. I have big flexible tounge; & have mimicked bird sounds for yrs. So emitting non-threatening pheremones & mimicking their sounds attract them.
Mean animals: i get very aggessive. I was 270 lb muscle man. I probably emit phaamones that send a threat to them.
In 70's i saw a Tic Tac secret US craft by a military base. You see similar craft in Navy video. Can i prove that's what it was? No; but its either that or aliens. I would need much more proof before i could believe aliens are visiting. I see some stuff on TV; but we've been faked before.
After i saw it i had weird dreams. Is it possible aliens were trying to abduct me & somehow kept me in a dream state; sure. But isnt it more likely all the scared adults outside that night with me who cried & were in shock; plus calls to the news; & the news running a show discussing possible abductions caused me to have weird vivid dreams? Let's face it; as soon as i woke up screaming & running they started dissapearing. So to me; this proves alien abuctions are the exact same; vivid dreams.
I'll grant you; having a weird guy try to abduct me months later is curious. Except i think it was months later. He was in darkish/blackish clothes; but so what. We had a ton of drug using child abductors in 70's. See: science. I believe its possible a few people who witnessed secret US craft were visited by secret agents; but so what; after WWII, who wanted a nuke war with Russia & maybe China?
So; i can use science to explain all so far; & yes i will keep messing with people to try to help them stop believing in goofy stuff.
Now for the last two; i felt like i went to Heaven twice when i nearly died. The second one is very easy; i was nearly killed. Heart stopped. I could have very easily have imagined it.
So that leaves precisely one event i can't explain with science. As a little boy when i was saved i thought my soul briefly went to Heaven. I can't explain that. I should not have known all of that; or all the stuff i knew about space at that young of age. Since I'm a Christian; & patterned my entire life after that experience, I'm sticking with it as real. That said; its possible that could be scientifically explained away, but i haven't seen a way yet. Either way; God & Jesus loves me; & I'm going to Heaven when i die.
God Bless
I endlessly lie online. Sometimes I tell the truth. Mostly I lie for fun. But it occurred to me. Some people on the net really believe crazy stuff. So I feel very bad about some I’ve left. I pray I never harmed anyone trying to be funny. Seemed harmless. Then I thought maybe it would help people realize they were believing craziness. But then it occurred to me. Nearly everyone believes in God. Christian; Muslim; Jew, Mormon. So most humans believe in an all powerful being who created everything. But no one has ever seen Him. We all take it on faith. But I have heard the Holy Spirit inside me. So God must be real. But it makes it harder to dismiss them when I consider we are seem to be biologically programmed to believe in things no one around us can prove they’ve ever seen.
Am i going insane? I'm autistic. They once put me on some meds that made me loopy. When i watched TV it was like the TV was talking to me. I thought i was going nuts. Everything was strange. Then i realized it was the meds. So i quit taking them & my head cleared. Turns out the TV was talking to me. You know how some TV shows are preaching or trying to sell you something or ask you to donate. In these shows they are talk to a camara. There you go. They were talking to me. So the meds made me hallucinate to an extent. I'd never had that happen. But i also had a guilt complex.
Thats where you want to be guilty. So while on the meds i had been admitting to things that were not true. They knew that, but it made no sense. Well. I was beat a lot as a kid till i admit to things adults & other kids had actually done. For example. If they stole something & got caught they blamed me. I had to tell the person, it was me, i stole it. Then i took the punishment. Even though i did nothing wrong.
So on the meds i remembered things people did to me or others. I then said it was me & blamed myself. Anyways; once off meds i stopped doing that.
I have a photographic memory. I'm autistic. As a kid i had to lie. The adults changed their stories & i had to repeat the new lies. On & on. So i would. I learned to tell yarns. What i would do is tell the truth; then add some bull crap. This way i had told a truth; but could deny it. But to avoid getting in trouble with my nutty family or whoever; i would also tell whoppers. Thats when i told an obvious load of crap.
One of my kids picked up on it. Dad i know when your lying. If you repeat something its true; otherwise its made up. So she had figured me out. She was filtering out my stories. When certain things kept being repeated she knew it was real. But i then told her you still have a problem. I never tell anyone the whole story. I always only give you a taste. Then keep all the details & rest of the facts to myself. I had no choice as a kid.
So right before this pandemic i got a divorce & nearly died. So I'm very depressed. But not on meds that affect me. So no hallucinating. That only happened the once.
When the pandemic hit i felt sorrow for my fellow citizens. So i played a game. I took the truth & tweeked it. Told my real beliefs; but altered things to get a desired outcome. Basically i was trying to get different people i contacted to work together; or do the right thing. Trying to get different political partt politicians to do things from the other side. Whatever. Basically i wanted the best for all of you.
Its a pandemic. I was afraid if i didnt that our country would have riots & more deaths. I love all good life. But i don't love evil. Aggressive dogs; evil humans, i don't like them. So i encouraged good things to happen; but i challenged & called out those doing bad. I'm still doing it. I was trying to avoid what we now have in the streets; riots. The media causes them. Yes; they use real things that make you mad or sad; then the media spins it; & tries to get a desired outcome.
Politicians; actors; TV evangelists; they all do it. How to get you to vote for them; send your money; believe they care; whatever.
So ive played them. Tell them what needs to happen; but make them think its for their own good. Will them re-elected; whatever. Make a repub support health care. Make a dem support our military. Whatever.
Ive also tried to reach the trouble makers. The one on the far extremes who write stories & tell half truths. They want their extreme views supported & believed. The lemmings on either fringe fall for it. For example; these riots. A man was basically hunted down for tresspassing. Another was choked out for fake $ as he begged for life. In neither case had the killer planned to kill, but they did. In neither case was the victim without fault, but a minor transgression should not lead to death. So I'm trying to get people from each side to see that. Peace exists in the middle. I'm trying to pull all of you towards the middle for your collective good.
These marches were OK at first; same with the media coverage. But once the goal was accomplished; the perpertrators arrested & charged; the media & marches needed to back off. To get whats best for the whole. But they are not. As a result innocent people are being harmed; looting & arson are occuring as the criminals & anarchists use these tragedies for their own purposes. So I'm trying to limit that.
Some in the media want one or the other politician elected. They are using a tragedy to influence outcomes. This is causing great tragedy just to try to trick lemmings into voting one way or the other.
We now have store owners trying to save thier lifes work; as low lives try to destroy it. They are attacking the store owners. Then the extremists reporters are trying to blame the store owners. Innocent cops are being attacked; & again, the extremists in media are trying to justify that.
We have to charge guilty cops. But we also have to charge guilty criminals who attack cops. Some will say we don't need cops. OK; then we are left with the wild west. I used to be able to shoot a quarter at 400 yds. I could run & shoot a moving target. I have special forces in my family. Hunters. Do you really want to go wild west with us? Because you will not like the outcome. This is why we need cops & laws. They keep criminals in check; & keep people like us from hunting our own justice. Make sense? Me personnally; I'm very passive. I forgive almost anything. But at a certain point; we all will fight back. We can't just lay down & die. We are watching that play out on TV. Cops are trying to show restraint; store owners are trying to save all they have. Criminals are trying to harm innocent cops & store owners.
Lost in this are the good people. There are kind people out there in those protests. They are just asking why was a man who tresspassed & maybe stole some copper hunted down & killed by non-cops? Why was a man who used fake money choked to death? I get the community watch. Ive lived in bad neighborhoods. But that stopped when they chased hI'm & got out with guns. He had not broken into an occupied house; not physically harmed; or been on their property. So they over reacted & it led to his death.
I know cops have a job. I know drug using criminals can act innocent; & then try to kill you. Happened to me once. Almost got me killed. I was dealing with a work release nut on PCBs who was convicted of trying to kill an old lady. I didnt know that till later. I was attacked. I won. He begged for mercy. I let him up & tried to leave. He tried to kill me. I beat him again. Others convinced me to let him go. He then tried to kill someone else. Before trying to kill me he had been trying to kill someone else. So cops never know if thats what they are driving up on.
However; this man was subdued with multi cops present. I think the crowd yelling at the cop is partially why he never let up. They triggered his fight or flight; he wasnt letting up because they were trying to demand it & filming him. Whatever the cause; maybe they just distracted the cop. Maybe he turned evil. I don't know. I do know a man died for a stupid reason.
Well; in the midst of me trying to help all of you work together; along comes the pentagon saying the Tic Tac UFO videos are real. What? I thought they had been faked or altered. This means we either have very advanced tech. I used to work in the space industry. What i watched is so beyond rockets & jets. Maybe you didnt ever draw blue prints; make a 100 in Pysics; or build things that enter space. But i did. This is mind boggling.
Well heres what has me questioning my own sanity as ive been playing the fringes trying to get yall to love each other & work together. I saw a Tic Tac. It was the 70's. I lived literally by a military base. Me & about 12 adults stood feet from it. They were shocked & scared. I was curious & studied it. I'm autistic. Was told I'm a genius. And had a photographic memory.
What i saw up close is the same type of craft the Navy calls a Tic Tac. All you see is a heat sig. I saw the real craft. Studied it.
But i thought it was a real US secret craft. The adults thought it alien. I laughed at them.
Then people called the news. The news ran a show on how abductions may be real. I then had weird dreams. I just laughed all these yrs. The scared adults & TV stuff caused my subconcious have two funky dreams. The dreams faded as i jumped up & tried to flee. It was weird dreams right? Or is that how aliens abduct people? Ive never & still don't believe in that. Yet i had weird dreams; but got away in mine.
So now ive been thinking if UFOs are real; are abductions? Are these crazy peoples stories sometimes real? Did i just think i was dreaming. Were whats now grays really in my room trying to get me & i escaped? I think it was dreams; but scientifically i have to accept it may be real. Mine probably a dream; maybe theirs are real. Being autustic i need provable things. I don't believe in ghosts & magic & bigfoot.
So; I'm watching this alien stuff & trying to decide is other stuff real? This led me to the men in black.
Don't laugh. When i was a boy a man tried to talk to me. I wouldnt go; so he tried to abduct me. He came back. I messed him uo for life. Fuck him. I should have finished him. Because he came back & tried to kill me. I then moved.
It happened the same yr i saw the Tic Tac. I never linked it together. He was dressed in dark colors; mostly black. Even a black car. But it was nothing like the crap you read in the stories or see in movies. I always thought it was just a perv on drugs. We had a lot of child mollesters & nuts on drugs grabbing kids in the 60's & 70's. So now i have to consider; was it related, was he a man in black? Wow. He was the scariest part of my whole life. Ive never been able to deal with having fought that basterd.
Then i stumbled across star children. You wont believe me; but ive had people just walk up over the last 20 yrs & tell me I'm a star child; nordic alien, crazy stuff. Witnesses have seen it happen. I always thought it was crazy people. But its happened multi times. So. Weird people watch these shows & believe it. But why approach me? Well; women have always approached me for some reason. Kids always mostly liked me. Nice animals. But more than normal. Animals just following me; landind on me; mean animals afraid of me. Everyone goes thru that stuff. It just happened to me a lot more often; to the point people would notice & ask why. Same for babies reaching for me; toddlers following me around; pretty women walking up & talking to me. I always figured its cause i was cute; am nice, & maybe put out pharamones. All of that stopped in recent yrs after i nearly died.
Then theres all the weird people who have told me my eyes glow. That has happened 100's of times. My dad denied me because of my eyes. But i don't see my eyes glowing; nor do most. I think its just because i have very odd eyes that seem to change colors & reflect light oddly.
But; i can not deny two experiences. I can explain one. As a tiny boy i was saved. Weird thing. My body stayed; but my conciousness seemed to go to Heaven. I talked to a long haired man in a robe. He told me why i was here. My conciousness returned. And i had a quiet voice in me. Obvi some will say Jesus & others I'm lying. I don't know. Some will say my self concious; others Holy Spirit. Rather than try convince you my faith is real. Let's stick to science. My brain did something there. I didnt see dellusions in real life. No magic. But i did change. I went from thinking it was ok to hunt; to feeling sorry for animals. I suddendly had a quiet voice telling me right from wrong. I suddenly had an understanding of what the Bible meant. And had always had an earie understanding of space even before this. I was four. I had no TV; no one spent time with me. I rarely had ever left house. I'd spent over a yr locked in a room alone. I'd never been to Church. My family despised Christians. So where did i learn so much about faith; & how did i know things about space that science is just starting to suspect? Advanced brain? I'm sure theres a scientific explanation. I just haven't tried to figure it out; because it saved me. Thinking the Holy Ghost is what speaks to me is how i endured a hard life. I really believe i went to Heaven; talked to Jesus; & have the Holy Spirit in me. That doesn't mean i do. But it is why i saved lives; protected people; & forgave. So it made me a better person. So that can't be bad.
As a teen i nearly died. My body was basically temporarily dead. My conciousness returned to Heaven. I saw kind people i had met who were gone; the mean people i didnt; i was surprised some i expected to be there were not. I once again talked with whom Christians call Jesus; & chose to return. Obvi. that could be my sub-concious on the edge of death, or real if you believe in an afterlife. You the reader decide. I can't prove it either way. I know people witnessed the event & thought me & another person dead. They came back first. They were frieghtened & hysterical & they tried to run & hide. This was a very cruel person. They told me theh saw something really bad; but didnt want to talk about it. I saw something wonderful. Maybe they felt they would goto Hell when they die? I know this person was a very evil person. Also a drug user. So who knows.
Well. I don't know. I do know i wish i had never seen that Tic Tac as a kid. I wish those videos had never been leaked. I wish the Navy & now Pentagon had never confirmed the videos are real. Because now while dealing with poverty; a suppressed immune system; a divorce; my kids having issues because I'm not in their lives; worrying if the virus will kill me or my loved ones; worrying if me or my family will be killed by these crazy loons in the streets taking advantage of marches to riot & kill. I was attacked back in the Rodney King riots. I lived in an all black area & didnt see race. But too many around me saw my red skin as white & hated me for it. I didnt even know about the riots until i was in one. I had to beat the fucking hell out of people to live. I picked up a 240 lb man & slung him around like a rag doll because he tried to kill me. I had to run from a large mob charging after me. I had to change colleges; neighborhoods; & job. Eventually all that hate passed & i felt safe again. My kids have diverse friends. But wirh this starting up again; i have to start watching who is around me. As a mixed person with my sweet black nephew in the room beside me; i don't like having to scan people to see if they seem threatening. However; i was almost killed; called racist names & threatened in school/work/restaurants/shopping/neighborhoods. My black friends avoided me because other blacks may be mad or attack them. I was hated by some who had never met me. They threatened to kill me. Most didnt take part; but they didnt speak out against it. When it was over months later some of my ex-friends tried to approach me. So did my ex-roommate. They tried to explain they had to stick with their people. I couldnt understand how a stranger in the street meant more to them than a person who used to set & watch movies; laugh; joke; play sports; eat; & laugh with them. But; I'm autistic; I'm used to that. So i just moved & joined a white community. I never felt like part of them either; I'm mixed & autistic, but at least they were not trying to kill me, breaking in my car & home, calling me racist names, & threatening me & my tiny nieces & sister just because we had lighter skin. After grocery shopping i was surrounded by 6 males, one with a gun, i was holding a tiny girl in one hand, & the hand of another. The gunman threatened to kill us if we didnt move. They didnt want us in their part of town. So we moved. People try to blame one race for this. Being mixed race & autistic i can't pick a side. I'm just a Christian. I'm going to Heaven. But my skin is lighter than some; & that makes me the enemy to some. Racism cuts both ways. Every race has haters within it. So try to stay safe: now we have to worry about wearing a mask; 6 ft; bankruptcy; possible homelessness; & if a mob of loons will suddenly try to kill us.
#tic #tac #ufo #alien #yarn #god #heaven #pandemic #coronavirus
Is God good? I think He is. But people blame Him when they’re hurting you.
I was rejected from church and by Christians at work for being different. I’m autistic.
Then my autistic son was mistreated at churches and one church school. In between was one good church school. He shut down from the treatment among other things.
I married a Christian woman. Her mom used faith to convince her to divorce me. Now my wife is miserable.
I have faith. But I don’t like churches. I don’t like people who misuse the Bible to destroy others. They hate gays, the disabled, blacks in the past, on & on.
If God is good I’m sure I goto Heaven. If others version of God is correct; a lot of nice people won’t be there; a lot of nasty people will, and you may not want to go.
You ever think on that? If the mean people are correct, Heaven will only hold a few mean racist hateful homophobic people. If they’re right then where do good people go?
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