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I was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago , I was so confused but everything started to make sense. I was introduced to self harm and she became my bestfriend, i cut myself so much I have lots of scars they are very noticeable. I abused a lot of drugs for example meth , weed , & pills I also drank a lot of alcohol to escape the pain I feel everyday, I'm miserable so very miserable, my anxiety has gotten very bad that I stay in my room at all times . I hate going out and as sad it sounds I just prefer to be dead . Please save me
Anyone that’s posting on here, I love you and I hope everything works out. There’s always hope xx
I have kept my anorexia as a dark secret for over 10 years from my family. I've been in a binging and purging cycle for the past couple of days and I got out the peanut butter and my mum told me off telling me I didn't need it because I ate too much already. Just a couple of weeks ago they were threatening to send me to a doctor because I was 'getting too thin'. From her comments I'm back in full blown restriction and I'm ready to prove her wrong once and for all.
Still even as a recovering anorexic, I still hate my body and hate the way my thighs are shaped.
It started when I was 14, I was being bullied, and abused by my boyfriend, and not knowing who to turn to, or how to even explain what people were doing to me, I looked for a release. I found it in self-harming. For months no one knew what I was doing, then my boyfriend caught me. He began to abuse me even further. It progressed from one time a week, to every day, to 2-3 times a day. This went on for nearly 8 months when my boyfriend then committed suicide.
I took it for the worse and tried to OD. I got help but 2 months later I relapsed, then another 4 months after than I did again. This went on until I met my now boyfriend. To this day, two years later I still self-harm when I breakdown. But for now I have been 3 months free.
Last year I started it felt really good when spilt my skin open I didn't want my parents to know they found out they told me to stop or else I did, this year I started again I told my friends one of them he said he will be there for me the other you are all g but he told my sister I feel really bad I made so much people cry because I self harm he said is it really necessary to cut I just cant stop its like drug everyone in my school knows some how when I walk into the school I get looks it scares me that people hate me now ' if you really care about me then don't tell' I say some people don't understand me I get really upset I need to cut I couldn't eat I cant sleep I told my friends I'm the middle of the night to help me he did but I'm still cutting but I cant if I do my sister will tell my parents so at camp because camp is coming soon I'm gonna cut there no one can stop there's way more for this confession but I gotta go...
I am currently getting over my addiction to self harm. All up and down my legs are scars from me cutting myself. The relief it gave me and the endorphins it released were so nice, but I've promised my girlfriend I'd stop. Penguin, I love you!!
I don't know how to put this exactly, but I'm addicted to cutting my body and then showing it to people who care for me secretly. Like I would make the cuts and then when they heal over a bit I would go do a dramatic thing but I've stopped since then. I really want to do it again but I promised everyone that I would stop cutting. I used to cut so bad that I would bleed for not of the night and one day they got infected but I fixed that up without anyone knowing. I just I have this urge all the damn time to cut and I don't know what to do anymore considering the fact that I know it's wrong but it feels so right. I've been trying to find a place where no one could know about the cuts but every time I try to think about it I cringe cuz I know the pain I had to go through and the fact that I was also emotionally unstable and still am to this day. I just I fucked everything up and I don't know how to fix it anymore. The person I love is gone out of my life and I just want to die
#love #drama #confession
I am depressed for quite a while now. It happens some times that I feel really really down for a couple of weeks, but it always gets better again after a while. But in those few weeks I feel really shitty and I also self harm. I innately feel like I am full of shit and deserve everything bad I get.
But now... it does not go away. I feel like this since around November last year and I guess it keeps getting worse and worse. I started wondering about suicide now. That never happened before. I imagine what it would be like if I ended it all, how everyone would react and how I would do it and how it would all simply be over. And it is not just like those thoughts you have, but real consideration.
Why am I writing this confession now? I just had one of those thoughts, of just ending it and I actually felt giddy and full of anticipation. It was only for a few seconds, but I think I need help.
#depression #help #suicide #selfharm #hurt
So im like the "hated" friend in the friend group. like i know they dont actually hate me but everyone is CONSTANTLY mean to you yk. it sucks. like so much. ill just say one word and immediately everyone is like "ew why are they here kick them out no one likes them" 😃 considering how long this has been going on and the fact that EVERYONE is doing it just hurts a lot and makes you wonder if they actually hate you cause of the words they send. idk im pretty emotional to might be wrong but 🧍 its gotten to be one of the reasons i hurt myself, but i dont like putting th blame on people so i just dont talk abt it cause i can deal with it
I have been self harming for at least 8 or 9 months now. I remember it started when my best friend and her family was murdered and the bullying towards me really began. Every morning, I wake up with a fake smile plastered on my face and nobody notices. Not my bestfriend. Not my boyfriend. Nobody. I feel the need to confess all of this to a website because I'm tired of it being totally secret. I haven't cut in 4 days and the urges are coming back... I need to...
If I can Use Sex as a habit instead of Self harm everyday, I would. I thought I will have a panic attack if I selfed harm again but all what I was feeling this strange emptiness. And I liked it.
i have been clean from self harm for two and a half years. i am going to break that clean streak today.
I can’t stop. Everything fucking hurts. I can’t sleep. I never stop hurting myself. Sometimes I don’t remember doing it and I wake up with cuts or burns.
I keep putting matches out on my hands, I cut, I put my hands into boiling water, I binge and then make myself throw up until I’m coughing up blood, and now I’m constantly thinking about stabbing my self, or cutting off my chest. (I’m FtM transgender). I can’t stop thinking about doing it. My chest is wrapped in bandages and duct tape. My ribs hurt so much but I can’t stop. I can’t stop.
#help #suicidal #selfharm #suicide #ftm #trans #ftmtrans #transgender #harm
I'm 16 and used to self harm on my wrist until my friend saw the cuts on my wrist and told a teacher who then told my mum I blamed it on my dog and they all believed it so I switched places to my stomach, top of my legs and top of my arms. I tried to overdose on about two boxes of painkillers and some other tablets I fell asleep and when I woke up I was in loads of pain being sick. I don't know what to do but I don't want to talk to my family. I blame myself for my aunties death
I am a prostitute and I run an entire 'escorting' business. I didn't need the money; I'd been a self-harmer and suicidal for years so I did it out of self hatred, and now I have a business so I can't really get out of it. The most disgusting parts about this are:
1) I have a girlfriend and she doesn't know anything about my business or the people I've slept with
2) I aren't actually 18 yet, unknown by my clients...
Its been about 3 years since I admitted to my self that I was depressed. I have always been the one to do stupid things but after those things happen, feelings start to seep in the voices start to get to my head, you are a stupid girl, a brat not worth anything, why don't you just leave it would save them all this trouble. You wouldn't be I missed, you are worh nothing, all you cause is heart ache...ect. These tpes of things always ran threw my mind, and soon and still I believe it. All it seems I can do well is suck money from my parents and pain for my friends and family and the people around me. It seems like no matter what I do , it wont stop. I cut sometimes when I get it deep and I also beat myself over it. I feel like no mstter what even my mom hstes me and my dad to. Sometimes I think of running away, or just kill myself, or just ask my parents to put me up for
adoption. But I am to selfish to do that. I just want to be set free and live with god and the ones that I cant hurt anymore. That would make them happy....
That was me then but now its starting to change I now understand if I do those things I would hurt them even more, I am now starting to open up even more about my feeings but I still keep some of them hidden but it is getting better I found the light at the end of the tunnel and now I am following it and chasing it it will get etter, but I still got a ways to go. No matter what just look for that light no matter how dim it is and go grab it,. It will be worth it!
I am always sad and want nothing to do with my school friends or friends that I have made through cheer. I used to be the person who was always doing something and never wanted to be home. I was constantly surrounded by people and friends. Ever since I started high school, that has all changed. I lost all of my close friends and no I find myself playing with my pets and doing nothing but going to practice. Its sad because I want to be back to my super social life and have all my friends back but everyone seems to hate me. I have thought about killing myself due to the amount of mean comments and things being said about my by people I thought were my friends. I am most certainly depressed but I don't want to talk to my parents about it because they are very abusive.
I want to kill myself. I always have. I don't know why I feel this way maybe because my life is such shit or has gone to shit. I'm going to be a nurse but I haven't finished college yet and it feels like ill never get there. I have a beautiful daughter if it weren't for her and my belief in God I would've killed myself a long time ago. I've tried before but never got close enough. My fiance doesn't know how I feel he hardly talks to me on a daily basis. And I'm only 22(female) I have alot to look forward to. I feel so alone. I was molested by my sister at age of 5 and than when I was 16 my boyfriend of three years abused me physically and verbally. I just don't want to live anymore there is no love in this world.
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