Grave Confessions

As a kid (okay more a teenager) my friends and I always had stupid ideas how we could spend our time together. One night we had a sleepover at my place, I had the idea to go to the cemetery and have a good old game of DARE. Because we were all boys at the age of 12-15 no one wanted to admit that we were scared. I was scared for sure.
So we went to the cemetera and of course I had to go first because it was my idea. My task was to go to on of the tombstones (the one the farest away from us and the one with a creepy looking angel sitting on top of it) and there I should light the candle at the grave.

As scared as I was I didn't want them to think I'm a coward. I went there and kneeled down to light the candle as someone jumped from behind the tombstone, screaming like hell.
I started screaming as well, kicking and punching. I also pissed in my pants.
My friends thought it was funny to scare me and it worked. But what they didn't think of was my reaction. I kicked and punched and destroyed the whole grave. All flowers were trampled down, the little figures were broken and the photo in the picture frame of the dead guy and his family was also destroyed.

Because we were scared to get caught, we ran away as fast as we could.
The incident also appeared on the local newspapers with a picture of the damage and the headline "WHO DID THIS?"
They never found out it was us but I will definitely regret this for the rest of my life.

#grave   #cemetery   #boys   #dare   #tombstone   #scared   #damage   #coward   #confess  

I went to the cementary yesterday to visit the grave of a friend of mine who past away about a year ago.
After I prayed, I laid a red rose down and by then I saw this wonderful little figure of an angel. It's a figure of an angel with wings, kneeling and praying with it's eyes closed.

After considering very very very long I took it... and now I feel horrible! I stole from a dead! And it was a good friend of mine...

#cementary   #grave   #figure  

I do not know what to do and I feel so guilty right now. My mother passed away in 2011 and I held her in my arms when she died. After the funeral, the rumours started. Even my sister, who is now not a part of my life anymore because I cut her out, accused me of killing our mother. This was especially hard for me. And now, 8 years later, I still have to listen to those accusations. They say that I treated my mother badly and that I had hit her. I have to disagree. No, I did not! I never hit my mom, but I of course was not the picture perfect son. I made mistakes and I am very sorry for them. I do not pray as often as others might do, but I think about mom all the time. I look after my mother's grave and bring flowers regularly and when I am there I am talking to her and asking her for forgiveness for all the mistakes I made.
Do you think she can hear me?
I think I might be a murderer after all... Am I a bad person? I start to think that I am. I would like to apologize here once more for how I treated my mother some times. I was a teenager and had my own head. I asked for her forgiveness, but is that enough?
Shortly after she died she visited me in my dreams, but now everything is empty. There are only nightmares.
But I will try to get better. To get a better person.
I promise, Mom.
xx

#mom   #deceased   #died   #mother   #grave   #murderer   #sister   #empty   #lonely   #confession   #forgiveness   #guilty   #bad   #person