Flashbacks Confessions

In first grade I was held down by some older kids and forced to kiss one of them. I don't really remember a lot of it but I remember someones hand on my mouth and not being able to breath so I could then be forced to open my mouth to kiss him. I remember being held down and feeling helpless and unable to get up. I get flash backs almost daily and it won't leave my fucking mind, for so long I forgot about it, but for the past year its been haunting me almost daily and it still fucks me up. Its almost like I have PTSD like symptoms, but I doubt I have PTSD, I'm probably just a fucking pussy. I should have screamed or yelled or something, but I didn't, I didn't know what to do. I still feel so nauseous every time I get memories of it. I've never really talked to anyone about it, it was so long ago, I don't even know what I would say.

#idk   #help   #flashbacks