Fetishfear Confessions

When I was 16 I became friends with my mentor while I was in a boys home. My mentor was a 31 yo black male. He would take me off campus and to his house, buy me food and take me to church. One day after leaving the on campus gym where we'd been playing basketball one on one he directed me to an empty classroom. I knew what he wanted and confirmed this when he pulled me close and I could feel his cock semi-hard. Eager to please I immediately dropped to my knees and started sucking his huge cock. He sat on a desk and touched my little dick for a second while I pleased him. He came in my mouth which I didn't like too much so I spit it on his shorts. Fast forward 15 years later I have fathered five kids, been married once and am in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. Recently over the course of maybe five years I've become complacent with my sex life, simply because I have done everything i want, from two women, anal sex you name it I've done it. I started having bi sexual feelings and started to want to act on these feelings. I would get very horny and tease guys, play with my significant others toys, wear thongs and thoroughly enjoy it. My now spouse knows all my fetishes, she allows me to wear her panties, knows I like male on male action as well as transexuals. There is something about a trans that I like, smooth body, nice asses, and that surprise between their legs. I would never penetrate a man but have discussed with my spouse about a threesome with a man we like and both of us pleasing the man. We talked about it for a year or so, she even bought a strap-on that we tried, it was way too big. But she would let me suck it and try her best to pleasure me. Recently I found a gentleman I was comfortable with talking to and showing my body via pics and of course he was instantly ready to participate in a freaky night of male on male sex. I went one night and flaked as I got to his apt. The next night my spouse basically forced me to go, saying I'll never know if I'm going to like or what I'm missing if I don't go, so I forced myself. I shave my privates like a woman, smooth, nice ass and dressed in a black thong. This time I wasn't so into it. He'd been jerking with some kind of lube and his cock tasted terrible. Him asking me to undress humiliated me, even tho that is one of my favorite things because I know I have a nice body, my ass being the nicest assets I have. He wanted me to lay on his couch outside in my panties while he sat in between my legs, tugging on my cock. He was definitely enjoying himself and I was nervous, almost sickened at what I was doing. I came rather quickly and wanted to dress immediately. After I dressed he asked me to sit in the living room with him and talk so I did. I like the thought of being objectified. I like making someone's cock hard. I like touching cock and being submissive. I'm nervous about my wife feeling I'm taking things a bit too far but I need her to be involved. She says she doesn't mind, but I'm worried she won't really be turned on. I need her to tell me that it's ok to get on my knees, I need her to be supportive of me wanting to be treated like a woman from time to time. We have agreed next time she will be there. And we will both be used. I wouldn't mind coming out as bi-sexual, but I don't want to tarnish our names and embarrass her. I have often thought I'd we don't work out I will definitely be on the look out for a woman that likes the same things I do and just be real from day one, like hey I like to wear panties and sucking cock turns me on. If she doesn't want that I'll move on to the next.

#fetishfear   #bisexual   #bottom   #submissive