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I am embarrassed that at every summer bbq & gathering of family & neighbors at my parents house my Mom makes reference to our neighbor "Frank" helping to assemble our bikes for me and my 3 siblings on Christmas Eve in 1985 and thanks him in front of everyone. My parents are in their late 60's now.
Why am I so embarrassed?
Because I was 11 that year and, during the night, I heard noises from our den around 2 a.m.
As I approached the den, I could hear voices and groans, it was obvious that someone was in there.
When I got to the entryway I saw my Mom on all fours with Frank on his knees behind her, holding onto her hips, banging the shit out of her. My Mom was clearly loving it. I heard several "Oooooh yeah!!!!" remarks out of her. At one point "Frank" turned his head and saw me staring at them and just smiled and caressed my Mom's ass and asked if she was enjoying herself. I will remember him saying "I've wanted this for a long time" to her and my Mom replying that she had too. I watched for several minutes until they finished and began kissing.
My Dad was a cop and was working overnights at the time. I never saw my Mom in such a good mood as she was that Christmas Day in 1985.
Every time she tells the story of "Frank helping me out so much that night!" and smiles at him, "Frank" almost always glances at me and smiles as if to thank me for keeping my mouth shut.
I am a 53 year old white woman named "Carol". My 26 year old daughter "Kim" married a black man, "Derrick" a few years ago. He's very nice and they're happily in love and I have a beautiful little grandson with another grandchild on the way. Things are wonderful.
Last year, my husband and I stayed at their home. they live in Atlanta, we live in Tampa, Florida.
While my husband was out one morning, and I thought the kids were up and out, I had a chore to do.
I was going to place a surprise anniversary gift for them, tickets for a trip to Cancun for a week on us, on their pillowcase for them to come home to. I thought Derrick had to work and Kim had said something about the gym in the morning.
I walked into their bedroom, the door was slightly open, and they were having sex. My daughter was on top of him and being very vocal about her enjoyment of it.I saw the look of pleasure in my daughter's eyes, and heard it in her voice, and realized that I'd never experienced anything like that in my life. Thankfully, they didn't see me but I cannot stop thinking about it.
When he withdrew from her I saw he was so well endowed that I almost gasped in shock. My God, how does she take that?!?!?!
I was so aroused by watching them that I feel ashamed that I have repeatedly masturbated about what I saw and fantasized and had dreams about having sex with Derrick myself.
I think I'm going mad.
Please pray for me.
#adultery #envy #lust #black #daughter #mother #envy #embarassment
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