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This is gonna age like a fine cup of piss, but...
I'm something of an activist, and it's a huge part of the resason why I'm majoring in social work,but despite my campus having a strong social work program, it's tough to find a cause I'm genuinely passionate about as I attend a predominantly conservative campus. However, I thought that since I'm Asian and recently a few other Asian students had recently formed an Asian American Association this past semester and I was somewhat involved in the planning process that I could use it for my advocacy as a student activist. However, I soon got removed from the group me (we also have a discord, but we use the group me chat as our main platform for communication) for pushing certain "ideas" that people were "uncomfortable" with, despite there having been some arguments among the leaders and admins, as only one person removed me with little to no input from the leaders. I sat down a while back to speak to the advisor, who had zero involvement in all of the group me stuff, and when I asked for a follow up, I got an email back pretty much saying the same thing: the chat was created for "light hearted" reasons and they didn't want me making it uncomfortable. I didn't respond to it until a few days ago. I claimed that them taking me out of the chat had sent me on a downward spiral, how it had caused me to cut again, how it had caused me to stop eating.
It was all a lie. I just thought that I could guilt trip them a little to get back in the chat. I honestly don't feel much if any remorse over this.
I love the drama. I wish for something bad to happen to me to get the attention I so desperately need.
I am a drama queen. My life is actually not bad but I overexaggerate everything and create problems were there aren't any. I am in a relationship, got a loving and caring family, got a job and I live a good life.
I thought about leaving my boyfriend just to get more attention. I need the interest of others and I guess I am a very strenuous person.
Sometimes I think about dying and imagine how everyone around me would react to my death. It satisfies me to know that a lot of people would be devastating.
I love him, but I'm tired of being patient and accepting his moody whims and anxiety driven doubts. Sometimes I want to scream at him "grow the fuck up!" But instead I calm myself and busy myself with cleaning or go do something alone to breathe through my frustration and anger.
He's in his mid-30s and a divorced father, so I expect him to be a bit more mature than he is, but maybe that's my problem. We are the same age and it's frustrating that he hasn't learned how to be more responsible and take more initiative.
He seems incapable of moving forward and making decisions about his future, which is largely because he endlessly feels stuck by his kids and hopeless about the future.
We are adults, it's time to stop crying over the spoiled milk and make the most of the life we have, which is pretty amazing actually. He backed out of marriage and now he wants to back out of living together, but still claims to love me and want to be only with me. Truth is, if I move out to "give him time" to get his shit together, I already have my eye on another guy who can warm my bed for me. I hate being alone. I hate living alone. I have feeling alone. If he can't understand that after everything we've been through, then he doesn't really know anything about me. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone I didn't give birth to, but I'm tired of being the after thought. I'd like to be someone's priority for a change because I always prioritize the person I'm with.
I'm so fucking angry I want to scream. Why do men have to be so fucking selfish!? Even the good ones have a sense of entitlement that because I'm a woman I'll pick up their mess and help them take care of their kids because they're in over their head. Then they take advantage of me, like I'm nothing special for taking care of them and theirs.
I got a lot of love to give and I spoil my man as much as I can, so what gives? Why is it fine for me to take my man out for his birthday and he can't even write my name on a store bought card let alone take me out to dinner!?! I'm gone for a WEEK and I come back and the house is destroyed. He leaves for 4 days and comes back to a clean house. I go out for groceries, I bring back stuff he likes. I make little things to remind him I love him and show him I'm his. I don't yell or complain or whine or bring up crap that's done and over with. I never get jealous or pressure him for more time. I'm a really great girlfriend, actually. I don't spend his money or expect him to buy me things. I don't mess with his stuff or make our life about me. I love his family and remember important dates, I take care of his kids and try to be fun and supportive and loving and happy. When something goes wrong, I shrug it off and keep moving forward. I hold him when he's hurting and celebrate when he's excited about something. What else am I supposed to do? I never deny him sex and we have a great sex life. I cuddle him and give him attention all the time, flirting or being playful, teasing and just being warm and kind. If he needs space, I'm happy to give him space and go do my own thing. But if I want to go out, it's usually he wants to stay home. I'll be the third or fifth wheel with my friends because he just wants to stay home.
I know I deserve to be treated better, but I don't know if I believe such a man exists. My boyfriend is the best guy I've ever met, even all this bullshit included, because I have known a lot of selfish assholes. I've loved addicts and mentally ill men. I've taken care of them as they cry on the toilet, shitting while they're high and depressed. I hold them as they sob ugly tears because they've cheated on me or found themselves in a bad place and they know they're hurting me - but I can't stand to see them so destroyed so I hold them and let them fall apart while I hush them and tell them it's going to be ok, that I still love them. Because I do still love them.
I want to cut out my own heart and light it on fire. I don't want to be swayed by men. I don't want to love my boyfriend so much that I put up with all his bullshit, waiting for him to figure it out because he's been at a disadvantage for so long. I am so weary of this fucking life. I can't be anything but nice. It's not in me to bitch at people or be mean. I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want someone to love me and think I'm special with as much excitement and effort as I put into my love and admiration of them. Even steven. Is that really too much to ask?
I only care about myself and i dont feel thats wrong. I dont give a flying shit if other peoples lives are crap cause i know they dont care about me either. Plus i ve got severe family issues unlike my friends, they produce drama like a bunny produces babies
I don't know how to put this exactly, but I'm addicted to cutting my body and then showing it to people who care for me secretly. Like I would make the cuts and then when they heal over a bit I would go do a dramatic thing but I've stopped since then. I really want to do it again but I promised everyone that I would stop cutting. I used to cut so bad that I would bleed for not of the night and one day they got infected but I fixed that up without anyone knowing. I just I have this urge all the damn time to cut and I don't know what to do anymore considering the fact that I know it's wrong but it feels so right. I've been trying to find a place where no one could know about the cuts but every time I try to think about it I cringe cuz I know the pain I had to go through and the fact that I was also emotionally unstable and still am to this day. I just I fucked everything up and I don't know how to fix it anymore. The person I love is gone out of my life and I just want to die
#love #drama #confession
I guess I'm one of those who need a lot of attention. I am a real drama queen. But I don't intend to be like that, it just breaks out of me...
Do you also have phantasies about your death? And I mean not how you gonna die, but how it should be when you are dead? If someone would be sad and how others would react?
I do.
I often envision the worst and most terrible things that could happen and I even enjoy it when I get sympathy, so I tell lies and worsen stuff to get it.
I am a terrible person....
I'm a 16 year old male (for real; I'm not trying to bait anyone, or anything). I've always looked somewhat feminine, taking a lot more after my mom than my dad. When I was younger, I was even occasionally mistaken for a girl. That said, I'm a junior at a fairly progressive high school, and in my Drama class before Winter Break, I played the role of Juliet in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. My Drama teacher is sort of weird. He's also VERY particular about the craft, so I was fully costumed and wore makeup the day of. To top it all off: it was a kiss scene! Now for the confession: my partner, playing Romeo, wanted to do the "thumb trick", where I would end up kissing his thumbs instead of his lips. I said okay, but when the kiss happened at the climax of the scene...I moved his thumbs away! He was really embarrassed, and so was I, but in the moment I felt really compelled to do it. I tried to apologize afterwards, but he just dismissed it...I'm not sure what to do now...
#juliet #shakespeare #drama #highschool #romance #crossdressing #embarrassed #dress #makeup
My (ex) best friend who is a guy (I am a girl) confessed to me and I politely rejected him. He's now acting as if I don't exist. I don't give a damn if he's upset, I'm not responsible for his feelings. I was as nice as possible, so if he's upset that I rejected him it's his problem. I make an imaginary cold cloud around me when he's nearby.
Confessions by confessionstories.org
