Disposal Confessions

This is how I once solved a basic biological challenge. The solution wasn't ideal, but (almost) the best available, I believe.

I was driving on a summer vacation trip and felt a mild twinge or two in my stomach. After a few minutes, I pulled into a supermarket parking lot where I had shopped on previous trips. Right after getting out of my car and locking the doors, I realized that I was in big trouble, and remembered a toilet in the back of the store. After just a few steps, I needed to clench my anus very tightly to avoid the unthinkable.

Finally, I was in the store and heading for the back, but I didn't know whether the toilet was at the right or left end; and maybe it was out of service, or maybe the only toilet stall was occupied. The pain was almost unbearable, and I knew I didn't have time to investigate the toilet situation and then return to my car if necessary; so I decided to immediately return to my car.

Somehow I made it back to my car without losing control, and with a new plan that required using things that were already in the car. I quickly installed the windshield sunshade for privacy, and gathered up a large plastic kitchen bowl and a small white-colored plastic bag with handles. Then I undressed, placed the bowl in the driver's seat, and squatted with my bottom inside the bowl and my knees up by my shoulders–still tightly clenching my anus.

Finally, holding the plastic bag open underneath my bottom, and hoping it was positioned correctly, I relaxed and achieved wonderful relief as the waste quickly rushed into the bag.

Thorough wiping wasn't too difficult and I put the used tissues in the waste bag and tied the opening. Then I put the waste bag into another small plastic bag and also tied it closed. Finally, I placed the tied-up bags in a third larger plastic bag, tied it up, got dressed again, and carried the bags across the parking lot to a small trash basket mounted on a roof column in front of an ice cream shoppe.

Then I returned to my car and rested for awhile–reflecting on my accomplishments in the face of desperate pain–and finally returned to the store to do my food shopping–now relaxed, refreshed, and re-energized.

Now, a few final considerations: (1) The parking lot had a security guard, so I needed to be especially discreet. (2) The waste disposal location wasn't good, but I was afraid of attracting unwanted attention if I walked out of my way to use a more distant trash basket. (3) I did try to remove excess air from each bag before tying the open end. (4) Later, I did realize that I should have waited and found a better disposal location.

#pain   #anus   #pooping   #disposal