Disappointment Confessions

I'm 19. I've been living with depression for 10 years and every day is a struggle. As a result of being barely able to function, I've barely finished a three year culinary highschool (In my country you finish elementary school at the age of 15 and then you choose a profession and go to school accordingly. Three year professions are the shitty ones and you cant go to college to them), and I'm a chef that cant cook and hates his profession. I have no job and I'm not qualified for anything besides slaving in a kitchen.

I want to do another year of highschool so I could go to college but my education is too shit so there's no way that I can pass math and french.

I have no money, no job, no friends, no girlfriend, I'm fat and my dad hates me while my mom sees me as a disappointment. I haven't achieved a single thing that I could be proud of. I'd be happy to kill myself but I don't want to burden my family with an expensive funeral.

I'm forced to watch my life crumble and to live in poverty while all the people I know achieve things that are out of my grasp.

I'm scared.

#sad   #depressed   #depression   #confession   #failure   #help   #disappointment